When The Press Likes You...

“A Certain Grace”
is the title of a book about John Fitzgerald Kennedy. It was written by Ben Bradlee, Emeritus Editor for Life Forever and Ever of the Washington Post. Written after Kennedy’s death it is a warm tribute to a friend. No one is ever, as Samuel Johnson told us, “on oath” in writing such tracts. Still, it would be fair to say that Bradlee had the pre-Chris Matthews leg shivers when in the presence of one such as he.

I have clear memories of Kennedy handling the press in a way not seen since. The press wanted to be handled, folded, and maybe mutilated. The members wanted to be fondled. The members wanted to believe.

Tossed down the memory hole, along with Kennedy’s priapristic capers, was the fact that he didn’t like Sarah McClendon and that he tried to get Art Buchwald fired. Imagine if a President named Bush tried to get a toad like Matthews fired. The uproar would be deafening. It would be the “slippery slope” on steroids. No Camelot there.

I watched President-elect Barack Hussein Obama give his first press conference this afternoon. The press wants, needs, must believe in him. All that was missing was white wine, a Barry White CD, and a bowl of condoms.

Today, a man who championed “Change We Can Believe In” presented his new economic team. The team was made up of refugees from the Carter administration and retreads from the Clinton administration. Change?

[As an aside, I wonder who will be the first member of Lord Barack’s cabal to take a run at the enviable record set by George Stephanopoulos. Georgie Boy got a 125% mortgage from Riggs Bank for commercial property on DuPont Circle. 125% means that, in addition to lending him funds to close the transaction, the bank lent him money to begin the transaction. They also lent him a few dollars to run the business. In dry accountant terms that money is called “working capital”. One Hell of a deal, particularly for some one who had no – as in none – real estate experience of any kind. For that matter he had a checkered resume when it comes to any kind of business loan. He got the loan in 1993 well before the Cherry Blossoms came back to DC. Would it be cynical of me to mention that on his loan application he listed Bill Clinton as his immediate supervisor? But I digress.]

Wait a minute. There was “change”.

He took a cheap shot at Nancy Reagan.

Not only was it a cheap it was incorrect. He mentioned séances. Nancy Reagan was into astrology. If we are to believe her own words Hillary Rodham Clinton was into channeling with the dead. She spoke of her many conversations with the still dead Eleanor Roosevelt. She thought Big Bill was a horn dog until she learned about FDR’s horizontal mambos from a wheel chair. Plus he was running a war. No wonder she wanted to talk to her. Lord Barack then mentioned Lincoln. Since Mary Lincoln actually ran séances in the White House the confusion is understandable.

Since he won’t be getting any cheap shot questions from the press let me ask him some.

“You have said that there are 57 or 58 states. You called the mascot of Penn State a Nittaly Lion. If George Bush had made either of those statements he would have been a given a lifetime pass to the short yellow school bus reserved for perpetual window lickers. Was it June of 1864 or July of 1864 when the Union Army took 50,000 casualties? Give up? It was both months. Shouldn’t Lincoln have had a better exit strategy? Do you think Mrs. Lincoln’s séances had anything to do with those numbers?”

“You have an aunt whom you thought highly enough of to write about in one of your books. She’s living in the country illegally. She’s living in a rat hole in Boston. Why not bring her down to the White House and put her in the Lincoln bedroom? She could be a live in baby sitter should you and the missus decide to step out every now and then.”

Speaking of cheap shots, why didn’t someone pair Paul Volcker with Robert Reich? Volcker is about 6 foot 7 inches. Reich, the guy that Clinton always made fun of because he was extremely vertically challenged, has never paid full fare on a bus.

Reich should have been perched on Volcker’s shoulder. Wasn’t that how Janet Reno used to carry Donna Shalala around? When she carried Barbara Mikulski around the three of them would sing “We Feel Pretty”. President Barack Hussein Obama will use them in the war on terror. Any self respecting bomb carrying towel head who thinks they will be the first 3 of his promised 72 will think twice before he yells “Allah Akbar” and pulls the plug. Don’t you love it when a plan comes together?

Buckle up folks. We’re in for a Hell of a bumpy ride.

Grace? Ain’t it amazing.


I’m The Warriorbard
and I approve of this message
November 7, 2008