Miss California

May 16, 2009

If Miss California has store bought yabbos is it OK to ask where Mad Carlotta Pelosi get her brow from? The answer is yes and, by the way, there is no sense in being just slightly ad hominem.

Either a ginormous SUY with racing slicks ran over her face a few times or about a dozen junkie ACORN organizers spiked about 2 quarts of industrial strength Botox into her forehead. She reminds me of the orange juice guy in “Trading Places”. He struck a blow for animal rights by donning a gorilla suit to calm the breast of a savage beast. Since his mouth was taped shut all you could see were his eyes doing a dance that would have made a Dervish WOG envious.

Speaking of physical appearances won’t somebody please do something about Senator Barbara Mikulski? Is that woman butt ugly or what? There aren’t enough lamb chops in a normal COSTCO to tie around her neck to make a mutt play with her.

Incidentally, I have been searching for a lost tape featuring Little Babs for as long as O.J. Simpson has been searching for the real killers of his wife.

It supposedly shows Attorney General Janet Reno wearing only an eye patch. She is carrying Cabinet Secretary Donna Shalala on her shoulder. She is wearing a demure parrot costume. They would have a nocturnal gamboling session in the DC Tidal Basin looking for, as the Brits would say, “rough trade”. They would be joined by Senator Mikulski holding a begging cup. She would be at the end of a leash held by the Attorney General of the United States. [As an aside, and before memories dim, let it be remembered that Ms. Reno began her illustrious Federal career by charbroiling some 7 dozen of the fellow citizens at Waco. Ms. Shalala’s best line from her time as a member of President Clinton’s cabinet was “we will all die of AIDS in 10 years”. She said that in 1995.] Senator Mikulski, needing neither makeup nor costume, would come directly from the floor of the Senate, yelling “the fleet’s in. Set up the Viagra iv”.

Talk about scary sights!

That got more guys into rehab than a dozen DUIs and a few nights in the DC lockup.

Speaking of Perez Hilton…didn’t he used to work for Congressman Barney Frank, AKA “The Qween of Bayonne Wump Wanglers”, when Barney was running a male only whore house in his basement.?

As Churchill said, “He’s a man who gives sodomy a bed name”. I am sure he wouldn’t mind if I altered it to read “Those are men who give sodomy a bad name”.





Before she became the Senator from California does any one remember when she was Congresswoman Barbara Boxer? There is a photo of her walking up the Capitol stairs to protest the nomination of Judge Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court. For a small woman she has a rather ample ass. She was scratching it like there were four eels mating in her Spandex. I don’t know whether or not they were practicing safe sex but it looked to me like she was greasing the skids, so to speak.

I’ll pay top dollar for that picture.

Speaking of asses why hasn’t someone commented on Michele Obama’s backside? About five more pounds per cheek and she’ll have, as the late Alan Coren used to say in Punch when he was commenting on Miss Uganda, “a bum you could set a ashtray on”.

Maybe she could do some liposuction on them. She could go back to the homeless shelter with some Obama tushmush for the “victims of life’s circumstances” that she fed ever so discretely last week.

Cabinet Secretary Janet Napolitano could use some help also. She looks like she is still pissed off since the gym teacher gave her deodorant because she said Right Guard when asked what she wanted to do in gym class. She meant football; he meant personal hygiene.

OOPS!

Let me take that one back.

“The wish of the Princess has the force of law.”

She could make it more of a nightmare getting through an airport.

If it works for Miss California why not for those beauties? Collectively they have faces that would sink a thousand ships. Plus, a few of them could double for the Wooden Horse.