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May 13, 2009
State Senator Marc Basnicht
16 West Jones Street
Raleigh, North Carolina 27601-2818
RE: Plastic, Logic, and a well and truly earned award
Senator Basnicht,
Enclosed is a piece of plastic. I am sending it to you because of your desire to legislate plastic out of existence. Since you are the point man for this leap through the looking glass you must know what to do with the leftovers. I entrust you with the task of giving it, if not a Christian burial, a respectful secular humanist internment.
It would seem to me that the equal protection parts of the Constitution, the ones that your state took violent exception to a few year back, would compel you, Logically, to include all plastic stuff, things, and impedimenta. I assume that if you could see how much plastic is used in hospitals you would be quite beside yourself. After your rid your state of plastic bags and plastic syringes turn your attention to PCV pipe. It is obvious that Halliburton in a cabal with home builders, plumbers, and right-wing radio are polluting your state with…with…plastic pipes. I daresay that unless you live in a shack 50 miles from Asheville making shine and fricasseeing road kill your house is surrounded be PVC pipe. Logically you must tear it our.
Because of the above proposed legislation and because you appear to be a rational adult although one who is possessed of ca-ca for brains I hereby name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK
The two other awards for which you may qualify are POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH and SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR. The standards are much higher but it’s only the middle of May. If part of your district is in Buncombe County, a great name in American politics, I will add oak leaf clusters to your award. In anticipation of a plastic free world ruled by boobs like you I remain, as always, forever green.
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