Congressdoll Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

May 26, 2011

Congressdoll Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol Street NE
Washington, DC 20003

RE: Bile & Vitriol, with the mandatory tearing us apart at the seams and you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your relatives. Still, you had a better week than Israel.

Debbie, Debbie!

I was going to bring you up to date in re the Arizona shooter and the Constitution. The shooter is the guy who, in the parlance of Seal Team 6, put one in the head of Congresswoman Giffords. He shot and killed quite a few others that day.

As a modern American Liberal your reaction was instantaneous and your duty was obvious. You told America that “bile and vitriol” was the cause of the shooting. It may have once been known as free speech but when Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, Darth Cheney, and the Koch Brothers orchestrate a take down mayhem follows. In the words of Hillary Rodham Clinton, when the Monica Lewinsky story broke, there was a big story here if some serious reporters wanted to follow it. That there was a “vast Right-Wing conspiracy” behind it there could be no doubt. Fingerprints from the ghost of Ronald Reagan were all over it.

You warned us in your most lachrymose Jeremiad style that we were being “torn apart at the seams”. Since your history of lower case Fascism in matters of opposition speech is well known – in my case, first hand – the inference was that all it would take for a serene comity to descend on us would be for anyone who thinks that your policies are asinine and egregiously offensive to Logic to shut up.

Alas, but the Constitution, that’s the document that I would have expected someone with 2 degrees in Political Science would have some working knowledge of, intervened. Since your website says that your academic concentration was in Political Campaigning I can now see how the finer points of due process would have escaped. In fact, many of the things you did over the years now make sense. Since you spent your time in college cozying up to bullet voting, palm cards, the dead rising on Election Day, and a perpetual Row A designation the 6th Amendment would have been Greek to you. For years you got away with saying that you loved the cello but never heard of Bach.

A brief history of Ricky Ray Rector is in order.

He was an evil man who lived in Arkansas. He murdered several people in the Razorback State. [It is not known if the Whitewater Land Development Company, Webster Hubble, or yogurt was in his background]. In a shootout with police he swore he would never be taken alive. Although he shot himself in the head he didn’t kill himself. That task would be accomplished by the Clintons.

By now he was as aware of his surroundings as a pot of collard greens would be of its.

He was incapable of understanding the charges against him. He was incapable of assisting in his defense.

Alas, the Clintons were running for President.

Ricky Ray Rector was convicted of murder and sentenced to die in the electric chair.

By now, because he had blown a big chunk of his head off, he was serene, sweet, and extremely docile. The guards said that he wouldn’t hurt a fly. When his appeals ran out his execution date was set. Governor Clinton could have commuted his sentence to life imprisonment without parole. What better way for a modern American Liberal to show he was tough on crime than to wire up Ricky Ray Rector and light up the Arizona sky. Here’s the best part. Ricky Ray Rector was a Black man. A win/win for Billary!

How better to show he was tough on crime than by killing a Black man?

It is said that when his last meal was served he told the guard that he wanted to save some pie for when he got back from Old Sparky. The guard told him to eat the pie. It is rumored that if he objected Hillary would have given him a lap dance to relax him and send him out with a smile on his face. The only negative thing was that he forgot to say, a la Billy Budd, God Bless Governor Clinton! The one thing about being electrocuted is that there are no Mulligans.

Which brings us back to the Arizona shooter.

A Federal Judge has ruled that since Loughner can neither understand the charges against him nor can he assist in his own defense he cannot stand trial. He will be placed in a rubber room and given a series of Thorazine enemas while the experts try to find out exactly how many snakes he has in his head.

One of the conclusions to be drawn from this is that not even a steady diet of Michael Moore cartoons of Noam Chomsky’s plans to destroy Israel could be classified as “bile’ or “vitriol” as you defined it. The sound you don’t hear is the sound of the garment of civilization not being “torn apart at the seams”.

To him “bile and vitriol” are akin to “ham and eggs” or “apple pie and ice cream” like Ricky Ray Rector finally finished before he became a big boost to the Clinton campaign.


But the really bad news is that Ed Shultz, your husband’s cousin, Uncle Morty’s son, the one who wet his pants at your wedding, the one who picked up the handkerchief under the chuppa to blow his nose because his mother was embarrassed by him picking it, the one who asked your Aunt Sylvia if she had ever seen a one eared elephant, the one who somehow got a radio show, is a potty mouth.

There is a classic photo of a dozen or so female members of the House of Representatives walking over to the Senate to protest Judge Clarence Thomas’s nomination to the Supreme Court.

It is classic because all that was required for the modern American Liberal Judicial Death Panel to be set in motion was for a woman, one of their own, to say that Judge Thomas was debasingly disrespectful to her.

The other classic part of it was Congresswoman Barbara Boxer scratching her ass in a most vigorous fashion. It was almost as if Pedro, her undocumented Mexican gardener cum handy man, had put some los frijoles Mexicana in her knickers to see how she could shake her Gringo booty.

Anyway, Cousin Ed says on the radio that Laura Ingraham “is a slut”.

This is not to say that an alumna of Dartmouth College, a graduate of the University of Virginia School of Law, a law clerk to a Supreme Court Justice and a single mom of two who is a breast cancer survivor is incapable of sluttiness.

Who knows? The Mary Magdalene/Madonna gene may be in all women just waiting to break out. In her case, and yours, I rather think not.

He said this 3 days ago.

Shouldn’t the Hecates and harridans be in full voice over this?

Imagine if a modern American Liberal woman commentator has that said about her?

Rachel Maddow, the Sapphic slut? Joy Behar, the loud mouthed slut? Whoopi Godlberg, the calorically challenged, sometimes “nappy haired ho”, slut? Barbara Walters, the ancient slut?

I added “nappy haired ho” because when Don Imus said that he was fired from MSNBC. He wasn’t suspended for one week. He was fired.

Is it possible, and pray God it is not so, that there is a double standard in broadcasting?



Anything said by a modern American Liberal is OK.

Anything said to a modern American Liberal is not OK. In fact, it is automatically assumed to be “bile and vitriol”. Left unchecked it “will tear us apart at the seams”.

So long as we are pushing the edges of free speech we can stipulate that when a Democratic legislator tells a Republican legislator that she’s “fucking dead” it’s OK, that it is within the boundaries of fair comment.

If it is OK for your cousin Ed, and let’s hope that the vasectomy “took”, to call someone he disagrees with a “slut” is it OK for me to say that the Democratic Party, a party that is devoid of ideas, a party that knows not of Political Science, floats on a sea of bullshit?

I just took a poll of all the rational adults in the house. The answer is YES.

That was a great picture of you coming down the stairs of Air Force One. It looks like you’ve added a few pounds. One way to work them off would have been if President Klaus Obama had told you, like he told Israel, to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye. Do it 40 or 50 times a day and you’ll look like you spent the last 3 months on Dancing with the Stars.






Kevin Smith