Earl Morgan The Jersey Journal

July 4, 2012
Earl Morgan
The Jersey Journal
30 Journal Square
Jersey City, NJ 07306

RE: Some comments on your 4/18 column on Mrs. Romney that reeks of the eclectic indignation so common to modern American Liberals.

Mr. Morgan,

2 things:

#1 – Sorry for the delay. The best guys at the Post Office are in training for the Obamacare Death Panels. The Department of Motor Vehicles is now in charge of interstate mail.
#2 – Stop the Presses! The final straw! She likes to ride horses.

If I send you my autographed copy of Jacqueline Kennedy horseback riding with
Sweet Caroline will you promise to dispose of it in an environmentally sensitive manner?

It has been said that Mad Cap Gypsy Lady Teresa Heinz Kerry, a woman with at least 6 times the net worth of the Romneys, a woman who bought her husband a yacht built in New Zealand for $7,000,000 [Did Bain Capital outsource all the New England boat builders? Find out if you can.] is also an accomplished equestrienne. She learned from her great-grandfather who used them when he was herding slaves he bought from Obama’s great-grandfather. Did you write any columns about that?

You have to be from Hudson County – I’m from Bayonne – to appreciate the following.

#1 – Mrs. Obama worked for wages once in her life. She had about 47 billable hours in 15 months at a law firm.
#2 – She sat with her husband in Reverend Wright’s church for 20 years. Like Sgt. Schultz she would respond under oath in the Chicago style. “I know nothing. I saw nothing. I heard nothing. What did you say his name was?”
#3 – She gets a job at the University of Chicago Hospital as in house counsel for
the part time 3rd shift dietary volunteers. She also mediated parking disputes.
#4 – Her husband is elected to the United States Senate.
#5 – He gets her employer a $1,000,000 earmark to study whether tofu can be given to diabetics intravenously and whether aromatherapy is good for Stage 3C Uterine Papillary Serous Carcinoma.
#6 – The hospital gives her a $4,000 a week raise – repeat – a $4,000 a week raise.
#7 – With that money and the fact that she now lives rent free in public housing she bypasses the really fine public schools in Washington and spends $100,000 a year for tuition at snooty private schools. What’s wrong with the really fine public schools in Washington? Does she know something that other residents of public housing there don’t know? Shouldn’t she tell them?

My wife’s cousins went to New Trier High School in Winnetka, Illinois with Mrs. Jay Rockefeller. Sharon Percy’s house was so big that it had an indoor golf course. It was just a par 3. That’s probably why you never heard of it.

The Kennedys, all of them, are all members of the exclusive Lucky Sperm Club. It is known that they like to ride, that they have never been to Wal-Mart, and that they really feel the pain of the 99%.

It’s July 4th. I’ll stop hammering you, you boob.

You qualify for one of my highly acclaimed, much sought after awards. I hereby proclaim you

HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK

No minority set asides for you. No Affirmative Action here. You got it the old fashioned way. You earned it

Kevin Smith

PS – Love the picture of you wearing that hat. All it needs is a feather and we’re all going uptown or maybe downtown.