January 11, 2013
Jay Carney – Press Secretary
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500

RE: What else don’t you know about the Constitution? Let me count the ways.

Mr. Carney,

Your comments about the Second Amendment not being able to trump the First
Amendment indicates that you are a devout, practicing member of the Church of Modern American Liberalism. That is to say, there are no “permanent things” in your makeup. The Rule of Law may as well be from one of Jupiter’s moons. One of Jupiter’s lesser moons.

The Constitution doesn’t care whether or not Hillary Clinton has an exponentially expanding arse. It does not care if a picture of Senator Barbara Mikulski can stop a clock or soothe rampaging, ruttingly rabid Tasmanian Devils. It pays no attention to Michael Moore’s wish that “more Republicans had died on 9/11”. Bill Maher’s suggestion that Donald Trump had at least one Simian forebear is of no Constitutional concern. [As an aside, didn’t we all come from apes?] The Constitution is neutral on whether Muhammed was a goat humper before he became a paedophile or the other way around. Whether or not Bush was Hitler would cause no ruffles in the Constitutional Convention. As far as the Founders would have been concerned the New York Times was free to call Abraham Lincoln a “baboon”. The “fill in the blanks” birth certificate of Obama or the destruction of the World Trade Center being caused by “fill in the blanks” do not cause great Constitutional concern. If Joy Behar wants to work for a company that condones cliteroidectomies of pre-pubescent girls, with the instrument of choice being the ragged edge bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle, that’s OK with the Constitution. [I can picture her in a burqa.] If someone says the President, despite being tarred by VP Curley Biden as a “bright, clean, articulate Negro”, is really a dumb bastard for saying Austrian is spoken in Austria or there are 57, maybe 58, states that’s OK.

With the exceptions of protesting in front of abortion clinics or suggesting that the Gay life style may not be the best way to live to a ripe old age speech, unrestrained by the gentle hand of government, is still relatively free in this country.

There is an African-American Library in Broward County. Honest. Would it be wise, First Amendment notwithstanding, for a melanin challenged reader to go the front desk and ask for Dick Gregory’s autobiography by name? Its one word title, the “dreaded ‘N’ word that no White man dares use”, is verboten to some races.


I guess “speech is free but some speech is freer than others”.

Are the clouds parting? What’s that up there? Why it’s no larger than a man’s fist on the horizon. God’s Holy Trousers! The language couldn’t be any clearer. “CONGRESS SHALL MAKE NO LAW…” is as plain as your boot.

I shant get into Natural Law. If I were to tell you about Rights being ours “from beyond the stars” I might cause an overload. Your job is too difficult what with telling all those half, quarter, and eighth lies that other people command you to say. That was the nature of the job before you took it and it will be the nature of the job when you leave.

It would prove interesting if all White House Press Secretaries swore to tell the truth and nothing but the truth before each press conference. “A man upon oath holds his soul in his hands as if it were water. He opens his fingers at his peril” would be a tonic before claiming that 4 Americans were killed in Libya because of a bad movie.

The Federal rules on either commission or omission constituting fraud would also apply. That means you can be convicted of fraud for not saying something.

The brouhaha concerning uber cheeky Brit Piers Morgan – the thought of him being around as long as Mick Jagger makes me want to find the nearest Exit door – raises no Constitutional questions

Apparently, some 125,000 Americans, consumers all, have decided that, not only should Piers Morgan be fired, he should be deported. They have petitioned the White House to get his smarmy Limey ass on the next plane bound for Heathrow. The First Amendment speaks directly to the issue: No law shall infringe on the “right of the people peaceably to assemble and to petition the government for a redress of grievances”. Funny how things work out. The 125,000 petitioners, doubtless many of whom are homophobic red-necks, were exercising their First Amendment rights to protect the Second Amendment.

Morgan’s employer will make a commercial decision based on its customers’ wishes. Morgan, having no Constitutionally protected speech, will stay or go predicated on the rational self-interest of his employer.

A non-Governmental entity can censor its employees whenever it desires. Come to think of it the United States Government frequently silences its employees

Professed members of a religious order, having taken the vow of obedience, have willingly waived any claims of censorship should their views run counter to the views of those to whom obedience has been pledged. The Catholic Church is replete with stories of conflicts between conscience and duty. The government cannot be involved.

If an employer decides that it will be the official policy of his company that the world is flat that is the policy. Objecting employees have no Constitutional protection. Protections such as burning an American flag or dressing up as Nazis and marching through a Jewish neighborhood yelling “Todt Juden”, are protections from the Government preventing them from so doing

ESPN apologized because a football TV commentator said that a beautiful woman was….beautiful. In our present culture the commentator will soon emerge from his re-education camp and beg forgiveness for saying that a beautiful woman was…beautiful.

ESPN fired a Black announcer for saying that an empirically Black quarterback wasn’t Black enough.

ESPN made a judgment that its first duty was to protect the interests of its lenders and the equity of its shareholders. It was freedom of choice that enabled them to adopt a stance that would have impressed Dante. Rather than have one member of the Nation of Perpetually Outraged Victims become, you know what I’m saying, outraged they were quite willing to keelhaul 2 employees. They will publically flay whatever is left.

The First Amendment was not damaged. “Slippery slopes: or “chilling effects”, those precious lodestones of modern American Liberalism, are not germane here.

The aforementioned Piers Morgan sneered at a copy of the Constitution as a “little book”. Only a fan of the E.U. could show contempt for the Law like that. Maybe his country would be better off with a written tablet of what the Government can do and, more importantly, what it cannot do. I am told there are some parts of the Midlands where even the retired Judges are tarred and feathered.

You may wish to familiarize yourself with our “little book”.

If you want to shit can an amendment, I suggest the Third Amendment. You remember that one, don’t you? I’ll bet you have to look it up.







Kevin Smith