January 20, 2013
Michele Obama – FLOTUS
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20500

Mrs. Obama,

Although both you and your husband were painting furniture at Burville Elementary School in Washington, D.C. I am writing to you rather than your husband.

He has a very busy schedule what with the constant interviewing for the perfect teleprompter and his never ending quest – akin to OJ’s search for the real killers – for the elusive Austrian/English dictionary. plus he has Libya and Mali and who knows what else those mischievous Africans will do.

Two things about your maintenance work:

#1 – I admired your painting technique. At least you knew not to grab the fuzzy end of the brush.

#2 – Why isn’t your youngest daughter enrolled in Burrville Elementary School? Why isn’t your oldest daughter in one of the really fine public high schools in DC? You are a tenant in public housing, aren’t you? Why shouldn’t your daughters share the joys of DC public education like the rest of the tenants in public housing?

Some might call it hypocrisy. I call it “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”. Need a translation? Send a SASE.






Kevin Smith