April 22, 2013
Rachel Patron
The Sun Sentinel

RE: Pulitzer Prizes and what’s that smell? – Some comments on your oh so unctuous column in Saturday’s paper.

Ms. Patron,

Yes, Virginia, there is a terra incognita once you get past hubris, an ailment most common to card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberals. It is filled with people reeking of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”. Even though you are saturated with it you may not know its exact meaning. Send a SASE and I will explain it fully.

As to the ideological split between Fox News – full disclosure requires me to tell you that K. Rupert Murdoch was a limited partner of mine – and the rest of the gravity defying world of mAL electronic zombies – full disclosure again compels me to say that Ed Asner, that old Alger HIss loving lefty and Democratic Congressman Jack Brooks of Texas and Democratic Congressman Fernand St. Germain of Rhode Island were also limited partners of mine – the people have spoken.

If the ratings competition between Fox and everybody else were a prize fight it would have been stopped 3 rounds ago.

Roger Ailes has proven to be a burst of sunshine to the vampire-filled world of MSNBC, CNN, and former Vice President Alpha Gump’s cable TV station, the one he sold to the peace loving towel heads for a gazillion gas guzzling dollars. Ailes has done to those anti-intellectual droids what Sherman should have done to Savannah and Charleston. As is said in China, “That rice is cooked”.

[As an aside, exactly where and when, and most importantly, how did the Reverend Al Sharpton become a “Reverend”? Street smart anti-Semitic hustler? Absolutely. An heir to Edward R. Murrow? Absolutely not. Sometimes he is so God Damned dumb he makes my finger nails curl backward. He is meaner than cat shit which is why I named my last cat after him. The cat was OK; Al ain’t.]

Your disparagement of cable news, a sport that should have a daily limit, leads you to praise print journalism. You cite the winning of a Pulitzer Prize by the Sun Sentinel as proof that America may yet come to their senses by believing that the way to cure poverty is to make the poor rich by making the rich poor. Alas, as long as the name Walter Duranty remains undisturbed on the walls of the Hall of Fame of the New York Times, America’s leading newspaper, the Pulitzer Prize and print journalism remain on probation. You may want to Google his name. He is the best example of “eclectic indignation”, a mind-set without which the Progressives in this country would not live.

At least the Washington Post cursed the name of Janice Cook. You may want to Google her name.

There is some good news on the horizon.

The Koch Brothers may buy the Sun Sentinel.

That thought fills me with inestimable delight.

Statues of Milton Friedman, Russell Kirk, William F. Buckley, Jr. and a picture of Andrew Breitbart in the lobby. Readings from Calvin Coolidge in the cafeteria. An essay contest on Ronald Reagan’s speeches. All job applicants and those wishing to stay employed must memorize Kipling’s “Gods of the Copybook Headings”. Complete familiarity with James Madison and T.S. Eliot. A passing knowledge of La Commedia. Some employees will be required to write “Robert Bork was right; I was wrong” 100 times. At least 100 times. First time offenders of the new Code of Conduct will be required to listen to one hour of the best of Jimmy Carter Also listening to “We Are the World”, “Theme for the Common Man”, and “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” until your brown eyes turn blue. Cigar smoking required. Concealed carry permits a must. The weekly barbecue of baby manatee shall be started by using shredded copies of the books of Margaret Sanger, Rachel Carson, and Margaret Mead as tinder. No brie or Chablis. Mandatory attendance at the weekly book burnings of “The Greening of America”, “A Theory of Justice”, and “The Population Bomb”. A rag doll resembling Howard Zinn tied backwards on a mule being pelted with pies and bags of flaming cat scat will be the reward for employee of the week. Weekly swimming lessons at the Mary Jo Kopechne Memorial Pool for all non-swimming scribes.

“I know that my Redeemer liveth.”




Kevin Smith
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET