May 30, 2013
Brad Ashwell
Media & Democracy
@The Sun Sentinel

Mr. Ashwell,

With apologies to Shaw…I am sitting in the smallest room in the house. Your column of 5/29/13 on the infamous Koch Brothers, AKA the Wichita Anti-Christs, is in front of me. Soon it will be behind me.

But wait. There’s more. Much, much more.

“Deny climate change” is like a home run hitter seeing an off speed fastball coming in letter high. The only problem is over swinging. I shant.

First, a confession of sorts. In the late 1970s, during the glorious reign of Jimmy Carter, I would finish my morning ablutions by discharging a healthy dollop of Right Guard aerosol deodorant out of my bathroom window. Try as I might I could not enlarge the hole in the ozone layer.

One of my passions is etymology. GlobalCoolingGlobalWarmingClimateChange is a mouthful. Its history would cause the great Dr. Johnson to gag.

In 1970 we were told that the race was on. The finish line was death, everybody, by 2000. The 2 finalists were freezing and starving.

As far as I can see the Intercoastal is ice free this morning. I will take all bets that it will be ice free tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. I also think that Michele Obama’s drive to make tofu, arugula, and fish oil milk shakes would suggest that we are not starving. I know I am not. Speaking of fat asses, the lovely Michele should take some of her own medicine. She has a booty destined for yards of Spandex.

You may wish to read “The Population Bomb” by Paul Ehrlich, Ph. D. It’s still a screamer

Here’s a pop quiz.

How did Greenland get its name?

Because it was green, that is to say “no ice”, you dummy. Look it up.

In the quiet moments, when you think no one is watching or listening, you must consider this. If it weren’t for circular reasoning and its evil twin, the treacherous tautology, “The Church of the World is Ending”, a cult filled with boobs and non-thinkers, would have no argument. None. Sorry about that.
It is the “consensus” of all lovers of Logic, people who know that it is not a parabolic curve, that “post hoc ergo propter hoc” was bullshit 25 centuries ago. Alas, you ninny, it still is.

“Dismantle worker’s rights” – Surely you mean workers’ rights. You did, didn’t you?

If “newspapers are…an essential community resource when it comes to holding power accountable” would not the evidence of your own eyes suggest that it is time, indeed it is past time, to lay siege to the Chicago Tribune building? Kill the men, rape the women, sell the children into slavery, raze the building, and turn the property into a nuclear waste dump. That’s how Rome solved its problem with Carthage

More people were shot in Chicago last month than were shot in Baghdad. I hope that if the Koch Brothers take over the Tribune they could change that. Maybe they could give hidden weapon classes in exchange for subscriptions. Maybe they could have executions at halftime when the Bears, the Bulls, and the Black Hawks play. Child murderers would be shot on the pitcher’s mound to the tune of Harry Carey singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the 7th inning stretch at Wrigley. Anything to get the conversation going.

Finally, let me offer a te deum for “partisan ideologues”. Walking backwards, what would you call Frederick Douglas? How about Thomas Paine? And, lest we forget, Jesus Christ.

OOOPS!

There goes the bell in my manatee trap.

Now your article is behind me.




KEVIN SMITH
WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET