August 16, 2015

Rosemary O’Hara – Editorial Page Editor

The Sun Sentinel

500 E Broward Blvd #500

Ft. Lauderdale, FL  33394

RE: America is still the land of the second chance. Now will you do the right thing?

Ms. O’Hara,

Broward County is the petri dish of modern American Liberalism. The only way a Republican becomes a county commissioner is if his Democratic predecessor goes to jail. If the Governor is Republican he then gets to put in one of his own.

Broward County even helped send an impeached and convicted Federal Judge to Congress. Of course, the fact that a seat was crafted for him that would have sent OJ Simpson, Bill Cosby, or Step-n-Fetchit to D.C. is glossed over. Paraphrasing Orwell, all candidates are equal but some candidates are more equal than others which is how Alcee Hastings got to Congress. Even though the Constitution has some strong words about nobility it didn’t prevent Congresswoman Carrie Meek from using primogeniture without dying to get her cement-headed son into Congress.

And the people cheered.

We are at the point where I announce that I was born and raised in Hudson County, New Jersey – Bayonne to be exact. That means, inter alia, that it ain’t how many people vote it’s the counting that counts. I know you can’t go home again but just to bring back a whiff of the old days I had 6 voter ID cards when Miriam Oliphant ran the elections bureau. If memory serves she was so dumb that she would get lost on any ladder with more than 2 steps.

And the people cheered.

In her case, a Black female with several degrees, “clean and articulate” to cite Vice President Curly Biden, was irresistible. [I call him Curly in honor of the smartest stooge] It proved to be a successful testing ground for 2008. 

“It’s for the children.” Cognitive dissonance on ideological steroids. Eclectic indignation. Constantly conflating correlation with causation. “There’s a new day coming.” Tautologies rule! Hope and Change. Manatee suffrage. Little Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. Cool the earth. Calm the seas. Save the whales.

Scratch that last one.

Save the polar bears

The science is “settled”. Let’s not bring up Ptolemy. His science was “settled” for 15 centuries, remember?

Polar bears are drowning because rich White folk demand that they live in a cocoon that is aggressively air-conditioned. By aggressive I mean hot showers must have an ambient temperature suitable for hanging meat. I understand that there is a test program to A/C tennis courts. If it works there Broward County will lead the way In A/Cing golf courses and cemeteries.

  The promise of bovine, orvine, canine, equine, and piscine eructations as an alternative fuel to make it cool and comfortable just hasn’t quite worked out the way modern American Liberals had wished, really wished, it would, has it? Only a cad would mention Solyndra. I’m not so I won’t.

Coal, dirty rotten coal, coal mined mostly by “bitter clinging”, gun loving, snake handling, Confederate flag waving, Dixie whistling red necks mine most of it. And deep down, who gives a shit about them?

I quickly add that coal mined by Tom Steyer, a great green guy, coal that would not be mined in this country because of its high sulfur, is OK. He sells it to 3^rd world counties inhabited by the “lesser breeds” and if mALs don’t care about American hillbillies they as sure don’t care about people who aren’t quite in step with indoor plumbing and teenage obesity and bullying.

He gives a lot of money to good guys and gals who support good causes. Otherwise they wouldn’t take the money, right?

Why are the words “friggin hypocrites” ringing in my ears?

I have been pleading with the Sun Sentinel to turn off all the A/Cs at world HQ. since 1998.

If you had the rest of Broward County would have followed forthwith. And they would have been happy to do so, right?

Now comes a chance to atone for you error of omission and do the right thing for an even better reason.

The New York Times and the Washington Post, national institutions that employed Walter Duranty and Janet Cook, just told us that A/C is anti-women. It is sexist per se. The reason is so obvious that it took a vast Right-Wing conspiracy, doubtless funded by the Koch Brothers, to keep it secret. 

Women, because they wear thinner garments, sometimes sleeveless, in the summer, are more easily afflicted with chilblains. Men wear suits and long sleeved shirts making them quite comfortable in the artificially A/Ced cooler indoor temperatures. Bloating, water retention, increased cellulite, and the potential heartbreak of psoriasis is their fate. Truly a war on women. 

Here’s a chance to undo the past and strike a blow for the bears and the chicks.

Kevin Smith

PS – Speaking of chicks, Little Debbie seems to have her knickers in a knot over the difference between Socialism and the Democratic Party. Could you get word to her that the leading Socialist of the 20^th century was Adolph Hitler? Also tell her that his favorite American was Margaret Sanger. Just tell her that he used her writings on euthanasia as the basis for his Nuremberg Race Laws of 1934. Certainly a Socialist to be proud of!

Should Bernie Sanders get the Democratic nomination the mystery will be if he is a true believer in the somewhat sensual salsa oriented Castro/Chavez school or the more stolid East German/Bulgarian school. Either way, if history is a guide, we are guaranteed to be farting through silk in 50 or 60 years. Maybe 80 or 90. Maybe more.  Scratch that. Never.

One more thing.

I didn’t realize that you were a closeted “Ditto Head”. The term “low information voter”, the one you used on the Michael Putney show this morning, is one of Rush Limbaugh’s favorite lines. He uses it to describe the people who support the ca-ca spewed by modern American Liberals. I hope you didn’t blow your cover