Thursday, April 12, 2018

April 12, 2018 Senator Maria Chappele-Nadal


April 12, 2018

Senator Maria Chappele-Nadal
201 West Capitol Avenue #428
Jefferson City, Missouri, 65101

RE: Reparations and, by krikey, it’s a 2-way street

Senator Chappele-Nadal,

I enclose a quote, purportedly from you, demanding reparations.

“When I’m getting a single mother of three children calling me 
 trying to find a place to live because they don’t have a place to live…”

It goes a long way to explain why the Obamas, even though they lived in public housing, sent their kids to a snotty, snarky, unbelievably expensive private school. A sentence like that can be inoculated against.

Back to specific, personal reparations.

#1 – Your parents – It is empirically self-evident that the spawning season for you was when the gene pool was low, extremely low. I guess the nit-wit, bird brain wing of Planned Parenthood had not yet kicked in.

#1 – Your schools, and why do I just know that you never, absolutely never ever, heard of Trollope who made a good living – indoor work and no heavy lifting – stating the obvious, because “trying to find a place to live because – Jeepers and Creepers – they don’t  have a place to live” is as obvious as Kathy Griffin carrying a severed head of Trump or you saying last year that you wanted to “put a cap in his ass”. To naifish modern American Liberals, people who think “Imagine” is both good music and sound public policy, “putting a cap in his ass” means you want to “shoot the White Mo’Fo”. “Mo’Fo” a word too far? Send a SASE. But I think it means the same there as it means here.

But I digress.

You are constantly carping, in a manner that gives caterwauling a bad name, about reparations for your constituents. Your prototypical constituent is the perpetually unlucky in life’s lottery “single mom, usually a woman of color, with children who need a good Ritalin program in lieu of the salutary effects of Midnight Basketball who are also penalized by the absence of public transit”. 

I guess Thurgood Marshall was right when he gave his racial reason for voting to uphold Roe v Wade. He said Blacks should favor abortion because it meant that they did not have to grow up to face the rigors and disappointments of being Black in America. I think Michele Obama based her senior thesis on that thought.

Here’s some thoughts to ponder while you wait for the results of your MENSA exam.

 Talk about Affirmative Action on steroids! Why do Black women, some 6% of the population, have almost 40% of the abortions in this country? And on a gentler note, why do poor Black people pay the same as rich White people for a stamp? Shouldn’t we subsidize the literate among them to petition their elected officials for more stuff? After all, we are 2 years into a post-racial society, aren’t we?

The price for my support of your Reparations campaign is simple.

My father’s father had 2 uncles who came from Ballyglass in County Galway, in the Province of Connaught. Do I have to tell you the country is Ireland? They joined the New York 69th Regiment, the Irish Brigade. They came to fight in a war to free the slaves. It is indeed fitting and proper to note that the Irish, my forebears, were the first nation in History to free all the slaves within its borders and to outlaw its practice. They did this 12 centuries before Lincoln did it here. So, my record in this matter is quite clear.

It was a very hot day, particularly late in the afternoon, in the Wheat Field 2 July 1863. It was about 1000 yards from one side to the other. At some point a band played “Garryowen”, a tune now under attack by the music division of the dreaded Word Police. One of my uncles is still there, “wrapped in his faded coat of Blue”. I hope he died quick and clean which a 58-caliber bullet will do if you are shot dead center perfect.

How about some reparations for me? 

He got a $300-dollar bonus when he joined the Union Army.

How about a fungible and transferable tax credit of $300 plus interest from July 2, 1863? What’s fair is fair, right?

I’ll scratch your back and you scratch mine, OK?

Speaking of your back, you better lay off those fat back enemas and the fried chicken IVs. If you step on your cat’s tail you will kill him. I am told that your shadow registers on Richter Scale devices. You owe it to your constituents.



Kevin Smith


PS – Do you like tennis?




  






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