May 8, 2018 Commissioner Dan Daley

 May 8, 2018

Commissioner Dan Daley

City Hall

9500 West Sample Road

Coral Springs, FL 33065

Commissioner Daley,

I saw you on Frank Loconto’s informative “County Line” show Sunday last.

I heard you say some truly egregious things.

I am going to flaunt my elitist, private school education, one descended from DWEMs, one that reeks of the most current bete-noire, overbearing White Privilege [as if there could be any other kind] and risk having some long-dead teachers do a series of 360s in their graves, by creating a universal from a particular.

“Voter Fatigue” & its evil twin, “Voter Apathy”

I am going to go out on a limb here but I think you are a modern American Liberal, even if you are still in the boot-camp stage. I know that you are shocked, shocked at possible White House/Russian collusion but if the colluder were to be named Walter Duranty or Alger Hiss you would silently applaud. And thank G-d for Google!

As soon as you contain and cure “voter fatigue” and, worse, “voter apathy”, you can get on to the vexing problem of teenage bullying. [Has anyone found out who bullied Nicky Cruz, the Parkland/Douglas shooter?]

Then you can get on to the equally vexatious problem of trans-gendered, de-gendered, non-gendered, and un-gendered loos.  A good first step would be to ban urinals as a nudge towards non-judgmental pissing. If the need arises you can always forbid stand-up bladder evacuation.

Maybe you can get Coral Springs to fully fund and mandate attendance and participation at a renascent round of “Midnight Basketball”.

Pop quiz: What color is an orange, you putz? Here is the tie-breaker. Find your ass using both hands. The early Vegas line says you can’t do it.

Deplorably yours,

Kevin Smith