The Honeymoon Is over

January 20, 2009

The college football season is over. I would have liked to have seen Tim Tebow run against USC, particularly #10, Brian Cushing. It will be 8 months before the term “true freshman” is heard once again. There are quite a few 18 year old who could have been “true freshmen” who are in pressure filled jobs. There are no unsportsmanlike conduct penalties or time outs in Afghanistan. There are more than a few red shirts.

The NFL is down to one game. Thank God that neither Philadelphia nor Baltimore will be in it. It would have been like watching two drunks hit each other with bats. Since the game will be in Tampa there will be no chance of hearing the term “lake effect snow” until Halloween. If the Global Warming caca is true maybe it will be Thanksgiving before it makes its dreaded reappearance by a lake other than Okechobee.

Speaking of a term that sounds like tinkling brass on a good day, fingernails on a blackboard on a normal day, and reach for the barf bag on a bad day nothing but nothing tops “shovel ready”. Can we please use some of those soon to be created jobs, jobs that will be created out of whole cloth, jobs that will appear fully grown straight out of Zeus’s forehead, jobs that will be created from the plow speeding mantras of hard working, well intentioned smart, very smart people to bury, inter is better, the term “shovel ready”?

One thing is certain. People who use the term “shovel ready”, people like the President and his Gang of 40, people like the cheerleaders who are all leg tingled reptiles who couldn’t lie straight in bed save for the advancement of the Cause, have never spent one minute ever getting something, anything “shovel ready”.

[I watched President Bambi take a shot at painting a wall. He had several advantages. #1 – Someone told him which end of the roller to put into the paint. #2 – The wall was not moving. #3 – He paused after his 3rd stroke to tell us that “It’s not exactly rocket science”. Earth to Bambi. Earth to Bambi. The only thing that is rocket science is…rocket science. There are good painters and there are bad painters. Good ones get paid more than bad ones.

Only someone whose only job experience before he found an uncovered lactating mammary in the government sector was as a community organizer would say that. Scratch that. A good community organizer would never insult the people he is trying to organize. That common sense rule was installed by King Daley the First and reinforced by his sons, heirs, and loyal vaasals.

Begin with this simple fact.

“Shovel ready” ain’t forever.

Once a project is “shovel ready” the shovel has to be used. The first rule of loading a rifle is that the sharp end of the cartridge goes up the spout first. The same rule applies to shovels. The long skinny end is only good for resting a hand.

I recall John “Pretty Boy” Edwards using a shovel at a photo op in New Orleans. I wasn’t sure if the yard he was digging in was on one of the homes he had foreclosed on but he damn well didn’t know what to do with the shovel. He handled it like it was on fire. Throw in toxic also. Whatever happened to him, anyway?

Ask people who use the term “shovel ready” if they have ever pulled a permit.

When teeth are pulled Novocain is recommended.

A quart and half of industrial strength gaga juice would be needed in all 4 cheeks to get you through the process.

If it’s “shovel ready” the rule is simple. Use it or lose it.

Part of the game plan in getting something “shovel ready” is getting your financing in line. The only people who get things “shovel ready” without having their finances in line are those who work for government. [Kirwin’s Ditch is an example of how far back lunacy can dominate infrastructure discussions]

Prices change. Interest rates change. Specs change. Markets change. Minds change.

Who knows which of the myriad projects are “shovel ready”?

One sure sign that change is in the air is that Reagan Airport reported that it landed the most private jets ever in the past two days. Excluded of course from this corporate flyby was the not so big Little 3. They were last seen hitch hiking down I 79 hoping to get an Eastbound convoy straight into D.C.

I believe that these planes are filled with First Amendment enthusiasts. They convinced corporations and cities that the best way to advance their “shovel ready” projects was to hire them to plead their cases to Congress and the Administration.

Their motto “YES WE CAN POUR ENOUGH CONCRETE TO PAVE OUR WAY TO PROSPERITY” is sure to be a winner.

What a refreshing change from the old way of doing business.


KS


PS – Two things about the Inaugural Parade

#1 – Your salute has got to go. Not because you doing it wrong but because you shouldn’t be doing it at all. If ever there was a President who cold hand salute it was Dwight Eisenhower. Eleven months after he led 10,000,000 men into Western Europe [and my wife’s father was there on D-Day] Hitler ate his gun. He wore 5 stars on each of his shoulders. From the time he was sworn in until the day he left office he never hand saluted. He put his right hand over his heart. Ask somebody. End of discussion.

Perhaps a “true freshman” confused by the possibility of “lake effect snow” and overwhelmed by the number of “shovel ready” projects absent the immediate implementation of same will result in the end of civilization as we know it before the icebergs melt and we all cook to death in the Fire Next Time, Global Warming, as predicted by former Vice President Alpha Gump would make such a mistake.

Unless your name is Clinton there are no mulligans when you are President.

Don’t let it happen again.

You’re the President. Just because you have the right to do it doesn’t make it right to do it.

#2 – What the Hell was your wife wearing this afternoon? It looked like she made it to the final cut of the Outside Pole Dancer at the Club Bada Bing. Have that gold outfit cleaned and burned.

One more thing, as Columbo would say. Curly Biden, named after the smartest of the Stooges, and now occupying the Vice Presidential jump seat so marvelously held by Clinton’s #2, the legendary Alpha Gump, was kind of right. He is kind of “articulate” and I hope he’s “clean”.