Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney

July 22. 2009

Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney
1651 3rd Avenue #311
New York, New York 10128-3679

RE: “Those words mean exactly what I want them to mean”, I think, sometimes, well almost, you know what I’m saying, don’t you, maybe?

Congresswoman Maloney,

Don’t worry about saying “nigger”.

Senator Byrd [Democrat-WV] used it twice on national TV and is still referred to as the Cicero of the Senate. That’s Cicero from Rome and not Cicero the gangster hideout nest next to Chicago.

Dick Gregory used it for the title of his autobiography.

A Nobel Prize winner, Joseph Conrad, used it in the title of one of his books.

A RAF pilot who won a Victoria Cross in World War 2 used it for his dog’s name.

If you ever go to a Knick game that’s the only word you ever hear in the expensive seats, particularly if Black asses are in those seats.

The dreaded “N” word, the word that non-Liberal White folk dare not use, is no longer anathema, particularly if you qualify as a modern American Liberal. For example, Senator Byrd, a former recruiting agent for the Ku Klux Klan, got away with it. And you will get away it.

Now if you had used the word “macaca”, a word from the Punjab that means either “the coffee is ready” or “don’t kill my cows”, that would have been a different story, a horse of a different color so to speak. You would have had your ass strapped to the next rocket leaving Cape Canaveral. You would have begun your pursuit, a pursuit akin to catching the horizon, of former Senator George Allen who is vainly chasing the original Pioneer space probe.

As a Southern girl you should have remembered to use “Nigrah” or “Colored”. Surely you remember the basic rule of race relations in the South as “I don’t care how close they get as long as they don’t get too big”. Up North it was reversed; “I don’t care how big they get as long as they don’t get too close.”



You may wish to show how much you care about African-Americans. Why don’t you try to get the Post Office to issue a Michael Jackson stamp? Why not blame Bernie Madoff for OJ Simpson’s slice and dice caper? Why don’t you try to recall Clarence Thomas?

A map of your district shows that a part of it includes Hester Street. I had an aunt who lived there. She was famous for saying “Don’t piss on my back and tell me it’s rain”.

I do believe that you are someone for whom the word smarmy was developed.


Kevin Smith


PS – Your web site shows that you have two daughters. If they lived with you all the time you were in Manhattan helping those “unlucky in life’s lottery” and they went to public school I won’t call you a smarmy bastard. Others might; I won’t.