Michael Mayo, The Sun Sentinel

July 16, 2009

Michael Mayo
The Sun Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301

RE: The Jets and the Sharks: The saga continues

Mr. Mayo,

I got a tingle up my leg when I read your column about Judge Sotomayor, her mom, her mom’s friends, and their recipes.

Unless it can be proved that she was Barney Frank’s silent partner in the male only cat house that he ran in his basement she will be confirmed.

That leaves me with some unanswered questions.

#1 – She said that all her tests were “culturally biased”. She, you, and I took the New York State Regents exams in high school. [Were they a precursor to the dreaded and hated FCATs? A question for a different time.] How can a geometry test be “culturally biased”? How about biology? Rhomboids and osmosis are there or they are not. Were any of the Spanish tests “culturally biased”? Would it not be “fair” to hold Spanish speaking students to a higher standard than then the children of German Jews or Laotian Hmong?

#2 – One of the highlights of Judge Alito’s hearings was when his wife left the room in tears. One of the Senators [Democratic] called him a racist Nazi bastard. Would it not be a sop to Affirmative Action if someone made Senora Sotomayor cry? Can’t we work the word “spic” in there? If that’s a bit harsh how about asking her if she can give us a few bars of “I Feel Pretty”? How about “Everything’s Free in America”? Who was her daughter’s favorite Tony?

#3 – When the Lord Barack the Beneficent, and blessed be his name, was a Senator he voted against Judge Roberts and Judge Alito because, as he said, he didn’t like their judicial philosophies. What do you think would be the reaction if Republican Senators were to do likewise?


#4 - If Judge Sotomayor’s background makes her politically bulletproof why didn’t Judge Thomas’s background make him a candidate for instant sainthood? 47 Senators voted against Judge Thomas. How many of them were called racist?

#5 – Murray Kempton once wrote that the New York Puerto Rican habit of keeping an open bottle of beer in a paper bag was a sign of their good manners. Can we expect to see Justice Sotomayor leading next year’s Cinco de Mayo fiesta with a 40 ouncer?

This is still one Hell of a country!