Stephen l. Goldstein, The Sun-Sentinel

Stephen l. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301

RE: Two gems in three days! A twin double confession as to why mush brained modern American Liberals are so…so…mush brained. Your column in today’s Sun-Sentinel reveals all.

My dear Professor,

You say, in typical Banshee fashion, that politicians doing the right thing for the wrong reason are worse than politicians doing the wrong thing for the right reason or the wrong thing for the wrong reason or something incomprehensible to a rational adult.

Your examples – seat belt laws, the tax increase on tobacco, and some typical flap doodle gibberish, AKA “rhetorical incontinence”, about why non-violent convicts should not be sent to prison – finger nails on the blackboard excruciatingly shrill for the following reasons:

#1 – Wearing seat belts saved my like. It is in the rational self interest of drivers and passengers to wear them. If they chose not to no law can make them. #2 – To increase the tax on tobacco products with the full knowledge that they are lethal makes and government complicit in its intrinsic fatality. Ban them as a clear and present danger. Use the lessons of Prohibition of what not to do to enforce this ban. #3 – If you fully accept the premise that non-violent convicts should not go to prison can I expect to see you “leading the fight” – a verbalization of a typical modern American Liberal non-thought – to release Bernie Madoff from hard time? Should we apologize and pay reparations to Martha Stewart? How about Ken Jenne?

You believe that all legislators are in the tank to the highest bidder. If that is the case and if you know any specifics like names and amounts you must tell either the state’s attorney or the Federal attorney. Perhaps, since modern American Liberals think that international law should govern the American legal system, you could drop a dime on them either to the World Court or to the Spanish District Attorney who wants to indict every Congressman and Senator who voted to go to war against Iraq. The thought of Hillary Clinton being tried by a country that gave us the strapado is a consolation devoutly to be wished.

Your solution is for the above is simple.

Burn the Constitution. If that is too much in one gulp trash the First Amendment.



In the end all modern American Liberals become Nazis.

Your premise, that the filthy lucre offered by the agents of Mammon, is what keeps good government from being visited upon us.

Your solution, I think, is to bamboozle legislators into voting for free stuff for geezers, free Mozart, free buses and trains, ending teenage obesity, and lowering bad cholesterol, particularly for single moms who are women of color with some teenagers in need of a good Ritalin program who are abused by the lower prices at WAL*MART, by promising them white envelopes – I am from Hudson County – filled with “rainbow stew”. That is lunacy writ large. That is the mAL way. Once the laws governing gravity are repealed we will proceed into the Neverland of politics.

If you ever want to give up your Sun-Sentinel career Lord Barack the Beneficent, and Blessed be his Name, is looking for a few good men to preach his gospel of “balloon juice”.