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August 27, 2009
John Mackey – Big Boss Man
Whole Foods
550 Bowie Street
Austin, TX 78703-4644
RE: A window closes; a window opens. I’m back as a customer!
Mr. Mackey,
Other than the threat of alien abduction or the sudden appearance of a 5th gospel the thing that most concerns me is polar bear drownings. The more polar bears that drown the fewer the options that the Lord Barack the Beneficent and blessed be his name has with his marvelous idea of Federalized “death panels”. The Inuits used to float the Arctic geezers out on an ice floe so as to lessen the burden on their “public option” last year medical expenses. And to think that we tried to bring civilization to them!
I see where your op-ed on health care has drawn the wrath of the loony nit-wits who shop at your stores. Before this week the last time I was in one of your stores was at the height of the Chilean Sea Bass controversy. I would lurk by the fish section trolling for boobs who, with the slightest nudge, would be members of the Flat Earth Society. In the ‘60s these ninnies boycotted lettuce and Gallo wine because it made them feel warm and fuzzy. I would ask them if we should boycott Patagonian Saw Tooths also because “one man’s Mede is another man’s Persian”. I used to get looks that would suggest that we were a bit too hasty doing away with literacy tests for suffrage.
I enclose a copy of my purchase at your store in Fort Lauderdale. It was for Sarabeth Strawberry Rhubarb jam. I asked the cashier if I could have a plastic bag. I did not get one.
If sales in your store in Fort Lauderdale have fallen off I have a plan that could be symbiotic. I am starting a Be Pals with Pete the Python PAC. I am starting a 501 [C] [3] to grab some loot. Just like Acorn.
Pythons in Florida have gotten a bad rap.
It’s time to stand up and be counted for constrictors. Florida amended its constitution to protect pregnant pigs. We have fund raisers for aging greyhounds. Manatee suffrage is but a few election cycles away.
I’m sure a Python adoption pen in your store here would be big hit. In keeping with your company history you could have organically raised rats as chow for the kiddies. That’s the wee snakes. Not the wee bi-peds.
Don’t poo-poo python wee-weers here. We are small but growing force.
I have but one other question.
You feature organic produce.
How about inorganic produce?
I favor long strand polymers so the place to start may be with mangos.
I have to go now.
The bell on my manatee trap just went off.
Kevin Smith
PS – From one of my favorite authors: “Focus on the absurd lest reality drive you mad.”
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1 comment:
Back in 2008, this Whole Foods, CEO John Mackey (how old is this kid?), was caught posting negative comments (trash talk) about a competitor on Yahoo Finance message boards in an effort to push down the stock price. So now I am suppose to take this loser seriously? Please, snore, snore.
It’s funny we hear Republicans say that they do not want “faceless bureaucrats” making medical decisions but they have no problem with “private sector” “faceless bureaucrats” daily declining medical coverage and financially ruining good hard working people (honestly where can they go with a pre-condition). And who says that the “private sector” is always right, do we forget failures like Long-Term Capital, WorldCom, Global Crossing, Enron, Tyco, AIG and Lehman Brothers. Of course the federal government will destroy heathcare by getting involved, Oh but wait, Medicare and Medicaid and our military men and women and the Senate and Congress get the best heathcare in the world, and oh, that’s right, its run by our federal government. I can understand why some may think that the federal government will fail, if you look at the past eight years as a current history, with failures like the financial meltdown and Katrina but the facts is they can and if we support them they will succeed.
How does shouting down to stop the conversation of the healthcare debate at town hall meetings, endears them to anyone. Especially when the organizations that are telling them where to go and what to do and say are Republicans political operatives, not real grassroots. How does shouting someone down or chasing them out like a “lynch mob” advanced the debate, it does not. So I think the American people will see through all of this and know, like the teabagger, the birthers, these lynch mobs types AKA “screamers” are just the same, people who have to resort to these tactics because they have no leadership to articulate what they real want. It’s easy to pickup a bus load of people who hate, and that’s all I been seeing, they hate and can’t debate. Too bad.
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