Letter to the Editor The Sun-Sentinel

November 14, 2009

Letter to the Editor
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301

RE: Two bites out of the same apple

Sirs,

I enclose a copy of a letter I sent to Ellen Goodman about an opinion piece she had published in the Miami Herald. Lo and behold and I am determined not to be cliché ridden but the same article appeared in your paper yesterday.

Working for a bankrupt master does force some market discipline on you, doesn’t it?

Every time I read one of her articles I am reminded of the [supposedly] apocryphal headline from the Washington Post: “World Ends – Women and Minorities to Suffer Disproportionately”.

I can always count on her to offer an upturned neck to my History honed ax. The warm and fuzzy feeling I get from poleaxing her is squared because she was in two local papers.

Since you and the Herald are cutting expenses by sharing stories my I suggest that there are considerable savings to be realized in combining your distribution methods.

You and the Herald employ independent contractors to sell your papers in the intersections of South Florida. Having just one distributor would enable you to either place these modern day journalistic matadors in your employee system where they could get full benefits or it would enable you to pay the state sales tax that, heretofore, is not paid on street sales.

I have been asking the Herald to turn off their air conditioners since 1997. Think of the positive consequences if you were to do so.

#1 – You would shame the Herald into it also.
#2 – Your carbon footprint would be drastically reduced.
#3 – Drowning polar bears would be saved.
#4 – His Majesty, the Bankruptcy Judge, would be greatly pleased.
#5- The women in Afghanistan, the object of Ms. Goodman’s bellicose lacrhymosity, would rally knowing that there are still good people in the world. The plight of the drowning polar bears is a very important issue in Afghanistan, particularly with the women of Kafiristan. It ranks just behind voluntary cliteroidectomies, blowing up any unblown up Buddhas, the Twitter/Facebook debate, 2 hot meals in a row, getting the Afghani FDA to approve the poppy to Botox venture capital deal, running water as a substitute for running after water, clean running water, protesting the AIG bonuses [that’s the Afghan Insurance Group] the lack of teenage obesity, and second hand smoke.

What would we do without modern American Liberal ohmadahns like Ellen Goodman?

Though some may think she is an achingly inviting piñata, one with a flashing sign that says, “Hit Me, Hit Me, Hit Me”, I think she is a national treasure.

Thank you for publishing her.





Kevin Smith