Congressman Ed Markey

June 20, 2010

Congressman Ed Markey
5 High Street #101
Medford, MA 02155

RE: Apologies all around

Congressman Markey,

After seeing you on television asking for an apology I decided to give you one.

For years the presence of Lard Kennedy, the supposedly immortal moral slag heap, and Barney the Wump Wangling Modern Model of a Mendacious Massachusetts Mortgage Maven, dominated politics in your state. Not that there weren’t public thieves and poltroons in abundance but those two took all the air out of the room. Now that Ted the Tosspot has finally crossed a bar, any bar, there is an opening for new characters. Nature abhors a vacuum. You have the inside track for greatness.

I apologize for not recognizing you sooner.

Accordingly, I name you
HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK

If apologizing could plug the Goddamn hole I would be all for it. If sinking the sailboat the BP boob was on would plug the Goddamn hole I would go after it like it was the Bismarck. If Lord Barack the Beneficent playing 36 holes could plug the Goddamn hole I’d tee them up for him. That’s why you are now a recognized HORSE’S ASS.

The next two awards
POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH
&
SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR
are a bit harder to win.

No Affirmative Action here. You get them the old fashioned way. You have to earn them. I have faith in you.

Kevin Smith


PS – I have a fondness for Irish Catholics and bachelors from Bayonne.