Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

June 13, 2010

Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
10100 Pembroke Pines Boulevard
Pembroke Pines, FL 33026

RE: What’s that smell? You, your husband, your proposed Federal banking legislation, your self serving self interest [as if there were any other kind] and the perpetual ailment, the constant fatal flaw of all true believing modern American Liberals, as proclaimed in this morning’s Sun-Sentinel.

My dear Congressperson,

The character defect that enables rational adults to know that they are in the company of card carrying, true believing modern American Liberals is…drum roll please…”non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”.

People who believed that “Midnight Basketball” was good public policy, people who believe that low prices a la Wal Mart hurt consumers, people who condemned the Congressionally approved deficits in the Bush administration but believe that increasing them by a factor of 4 under the guidance of Lord Barack the Beneficent is divinely inspired don’t need to announce their arrival. The ordure, the sure sign of hubris gone wild, will tell of their arrival long before they are in sight.

If we are serious about mass transit any train system running to Bedlam would be overflowing with neither student nor senior citizen discount.

Aristotle, or was it Plato, said, “Something cannot be that which it is not”. He never met any modern American Liberals in the Agora.

OOPS! I just said “agora”.

Your CV says that you have two degrees in Political Science from the University of Florida. If you earned a Bachelor’s and a Master’s Degree you did so without ever attending the classes that would have made you familiar with the birth of free speech in the Hellenic agoras.

Incidentally, isn’t it about time we did away with the sexist term “Bachelor” when it is used in an academic context? Surely it is time for a “Mistress of Arts” degree, don’t you think?

Free speech has come a long way since those days.

Today it is considered a sign of maturity for the Federal government to subsidize tours featuring art such as “Piss Christ”. Stick a crucifix into a vat filled with urine and voila! you have art. When the Federal government subsidizes tours featuring the cartoons of Mohammed giving bestiality a bad name I will know that my Redeemer liveth.

That will happen when, to cite Hubert Humphrey, we have a balanced budget or a fifth Gospel.

This morning’s Sun-Sentinel has a story that shows that, in addition to missing all your classes on the origins of human rights, you missed your classes on Plutarch.

It is a sad tale. I mention Plutarch because he told us about one of Caesar’s spouses. Flying back and forth to DC should give you ample time to play catch up ball on all your missed reading.

You just can’t be “not guilty”. “Innocent” is not sufficient either.

You husband is the Vice President of Commercial Lending at the Community Bank of Broward.

You are trying to get the House of Representatives to soften legislation directly affecting his industry and his livelihood. I assume that you file a joint tax return. It does not take 7 League Boots to jump the chasm to say that it directly affects your livelihood. Logic, the keystone of the Trivium [I can’t get away from those Greeks] demands that I do so.

Maybe if you sent your kids to any of the really fine public schools in the county you could save a few dollars. As a bonus you could save your honor.

At least you were never bound by a Code of Honor as was Congressman Sestak. In your case there is “nothing lost save honor”.

James Madison, author of the Constitution and the Federalist Papers, answered thus when asked what was the most important trait to look for in a candidate for public office. “Character. Character is all.”

There is no second place in the race. It would be like being a little bit pregnant.

If “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” stumps you send a SASE.



Kevin Smith