September 15, 2013
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
10100 Pines Road
Pembroke Pines, FL 33026

RE: Congratulations on a long overdue honor

My dear Congresschick,

First, who says that Henry Wallace and Alger Hiss are dead? After Putin almost drowned in his own pee after the Kerry/Obama balls up he thanked them.

But back to the main reason I write.

The world knows that you are a closeted brown shirted, hob nail boot shod, free speech hating, Fascist thug wanabee. That’s a long way of saying that you are a typical modern American Liberal suffering from persistent, virulent, contagious “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”. Crikey, but I love saying that!

But now we can add another gem to your diadem.

This morning’s Miami Herald bestows a high honor on you.

You shattered the top end of its “Pants on Fire” meter.

This particular lie involved whether or not President Bush had international backing, after getting bi-partisan Congressional approval, when he invaded Iraq. You said, in your typical smarmy way, that America was alone. If memory serves, the only 2 political entities that were not with America when that balloon went up were Switzerland and the Swiss Guard at the Vatican.

You could have looked it up. You didn’t. You lied.

Typical.

I say in your defense that at least you didn’t perjure yourself like President Handsome Billy from Hot Springs and Lois Lerner of the foetid Internal Revenue Service. Let us be thankful for small blessings.

It may put you in an advanced state of shock and awe but I, at great personal risk, defended you this morning.

While I was baiting my manatee traps at dawn a few boats loaded with Birthers, doubtless homophobic, red necked, non-Brooks Brothers blue collared, voter suppressing, creepy assed crackering, Climate change denying, non “creative class” dudes driving a carbon spewing, ozone depleting, polar bear drowning, foreign fuel consuming foreign made engine sailed by.

They were shouting that you sent your kids to private schools.

I said I could believe anything about you but that.

I remember you standing with the president of the Broward Teachers’ Union swearing fealty to public schools. [If I were to mention that this particular teacher/labor leader went to prison for paedophilia it might diminish my argument so I won’t.] “What is truth?” asked Pontius Pilate.

Your kids do go to public schools, don’t they?

Kevin Smith

PS – Speaking of half-truths and quarter lies, how is the family bank doing? You remember it, don’t you? It’s the bank where your husband is an employee, an officer, a shareholder, and a member of the Board of Directors. It’s the bank where you got the House to pass a particularly smelly “midnight transfer” bill benefiting it. That bank, remember? Maybe Nancy Pelosi is right. Sometimes you have to pass the bill to see what is in it. By the by, do you file a joint Federal income tax return?