September 18, 2013
Coach Bo Pellini
University of Nebraska
1499 R Street
Lincoln, NE 68588

Coach Pellini,

I ain’t Italian but some of my best friends are.

That’s why I can’t tell the fans to “go fuck themselves”. I can’t tell them to “kiss my ass”; you can. What’s more, you did.

I would suggest that unless you have an interest in a chiropractic clinic you counsel the Nebraska naïfs not to do them simultaneously.

But that’s not why I write.

#1 – The guy who taped you 2 years ago should be hunted down and kneecapped. Although that is an Irish tradition I hereby grant a temporary license to any Son of Caesar to seek justice for you.

#2 – Your apology – “I’m sorry if I offended you” – is reason enough to run your sad-sacked sorry ass out of Lincoln, out of Nebraska, indeed out of the central time zone.

What you said was wrong regardless if anyone was offended by it.

If you decide to fall on your sword don’t do it in Nebraska.

Eye-Tie gestures don’t work on Cornhuskers, particularly the ones who are “motherfuckers”.




Kevin Smith