March 29, 2014
Douglas C. Lyons
The Sun Sentinel

RE: Higher process and the “new normal” – Some comments on your unlinkable and truly asinine column on why bacon costs more.

Mr. Lyons,

President Reagan, AKA RONALDUS MAGNUS, was spot on when he said that modern American Liberals weren’t necessarily stupid but there is just so much that they don’t know.

The price of bacon, the price of coffee, the price of corn, and the price of orange juice have risen considerably, as you say, “from a few years back”.

[Have you ever wondered why it’s OK for the price of Granny’s house to go up but not the price of 2 pounds of pork chops? Think about it.]

You say “three years ago, the free market was blamed for high bacon prices”. Why not blame umbrellas for rain storms? How about blaming the thermometer for higher temperatures or, depending on where you live, for lower temperatures? It won’t take 7 League boots to condemn dentists for toothaches or profiteroles for teenage obesity.

Ibn addition to having no knowledge of how markets work, a trait shared by all card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberal ink stained wretches, you seem to trash the Trivium by offensively insulting Logic.

I suggest, and let me paraphrase Reverend Wright, that it may be a case of “hogs coming home to roost”.

Every month for the last 6 years the Federal Reserve “bought” up to $85,000,000,000 – that’s B as in Billion – in bonds from the United States Treasury. The Treasury quickly ran out of storage space for this swag so they “encouraged” all the nation’s banks to dip their beak, so to speak.

Imagine a monstrous turd of greenbacks floating around in a tureen filled with rainbow stew. The dough has to go somewhere.

Inflation does not occur when the Koch Brothers want some more walking around money. Inflation does not occur when a turbaned WOG, floating on a sea of oil, decides to punish the infidels. Inflation does not occur when a thuggish union wants more money for its members.





It occurs when governments, and it is irrelevant whether
they are good or bad, decide to debase their currency

Money has 2 functions. It is a storehouse of value and it is a medium exchange.

When it no longer is a storehouse of value it must be exchanged quickly, oh so quickly, into something of value.

A bag of coffee, a hog belly, a tun of OJ has value.

A fixed amount of a commodity, any commodity, some more than others, does.

When a dollar bill, something whose value is subject to the whims of the printer, becomes suspect, it is quickly learned that a herd of hogs or an ounce of gold cannot be changed by central bank fiat.

Inflation is not the only cause of rising commodity prices.

[In its irrational quest for a “green” planet, the United States decided to use corn, the world’s most commonly used food stuff, as a substitute for gasoline. There were 2 lingering consequences caused by this: #1 – The price of corn rose and #2 – a lot of non-First Worlders starved. Worse, no polar bears were saved. Honest. Look it up.]

There is one sure guarantee here.

Food prices will rise in inverse proportion to the decline
in value of the currency used to pay for it.

The God-awful inflation of the Carter years, and I could never imagine myself saying this but compared to the current ohmadahn in the Oval Office he is starting to look like Cicero and while I am at it let me tip my hat to President B.O. for shipping his wife, his kids, and his broom-riding mother-in-law off to China to gain some valuable man-time, and even better, getting everybody else to pay for it, began under Nixon in August, 1971.

10 years later T-Bills were at 16.5%, mortgages were 18.5% and the economy had the dry heaves. Let me take back what I just said about Carter. This goober, despite a degree in engineering, couldn’t get 3 helicopters in a row to work. God, what a putz! The only good thing he did for this country was that he made it easier for the Great Reagan to succeed him.




[President Reagan, Prime Minister Thatcher, Pope John Paul. There was a time when giants roamed the earth.]

The “new normal in America” – you say rising food prices – came about when the people realized that they could vote themselves free money. They were led by very smart people who were so dumb that, in addition to not being able to find their asses using both hands, they didn’t know how many states were in the Union. Honest. Look it up.

If rising food prices are bad why is a rising stock market and your home increasing in value good?

My first FAX machine weighed 40 pounds. It cost $1,800. For $1,800 today I could buy a printer that would give me 50 dead center perfect Benjamins a minute. I can’t get one because the Fed buys all that can be produced.

Argentina? Venezuela? Zimbabwe?

The United States Post Office sells “Forever Stamps”. How many will we need to get a pound of bacon in 2016?




Kevin Smith
warriorbardit@bellsouth.net



PS – Wait a minute. Maybe gravity is overrated, particularly the part about the apple falling from the tree. Maybe we can inflate ourselves to a never ending Summer of Recovery. Maybe we’ll all be farting through silk. Maybe my brother the hunchback will straighten up? Maybe happy days are here again forever. Maybe not. I’ll bet the under on that.