April 10, 2014
Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005

RE: God never sends us a cross we cannot bear. I think. Some comments on the horror, the horror of how rich White guys, doubtless funded by the evil Koch Brothers, conspire to keep Rosie O’Grady and all those single moms, mostly women of color, living in inner cities and in thralldom to Wal-Mart, the company store, down.

Ms. Carlson,

First, a digression.

If you ever want to see a cat die be a day late filing documents with the IRS. No excuse – none – is acceptable. They come to your house with a pound of cat nip. After they get Whisper’s attention they stomp him to death. Then they say, “How do you like them apples”?

You write about Lilly Ledbetter being a victim of misogynistic domination. At least Goodyear didn’t make her go to the pound.

Back to the reason I wrote.

I never realized until this morning how terrible the 77% solution - chicks making 77% of what guys get – is. It is the quotidian pounding of knowing that for every dollar that George Will or Charles Krauthammer makes you get .77 cents. No wonder Helen Thomas lost her girlish charm and her winning smile and became a Jew hating American version of a rabid Tasmanian Devil.

Well today I bring great news.

A pal of mine for 25 years, this year’s abbot of the DC lodge of my ex-lawyers and now a partner in a big time, white shoe law firm in DC, has agreed to look at your particulars.

Further, he has agreed to charge you only 77% of what he charges guys. His sensitivity is sharpened by the fact that his wife is an attorney also. When pillow talk begins with the 77% mantra you get sensitive in a hurry or you set the record for late night showers.

The introduction is yours for the asking.





The next issue is a touchy one.

You mention the burger flipper suffering from working for someone who makes 500 times what he does. [Let me tell you of my career as a mopper of johns. I was in high school and the pay was $1.65 an hour. I became proficient at my job. I also learned something that still resonates with me; viz. I didn’t like mopping johns.]

There is one thing I can’t help you with, try as I might.

Among the myriad Logical fallacies practiced by modern American Liberal ink stained wenches is the one made visible by your McDonald’s example.

Making a rich man poorer doesn’t make a poor man richer.

A thread common to people who believe that raising the minimum wage is a sure route out of poverty - Silly buggers! – is that there is big pot guarded jealously in the world’s most secure lock box. “Lock box”? Ah, the good old days! On said box is a sign that says WEALTH.

People who make a living telling the untermenschen how much they are hurt when Wal-Mart sells them prescription drugs for less can’t be expected to know what Keynes meant when he spoke of “animal spirits”.

How do you think the WEALTH pot gets filled and refilled?

Here are some hints.

When the “Shovel Ready” job tsunami was loosed upon us the only sure winners were the shovel makers. “Cash for Clunkers”? I’ll retire to Bedlam.

If your burger flipper wants to break out he can always join the army. See the world, kill people, and maybe make enough money to become a tax cheat just like you said they were in 2000 when you said their absentee ballots shouldn’t be counted, remember?

Don’t you think it would be the high water mark of Christian charity if the Kennedys were to sell all and give to the poor? The house in Hyannis could become a hospice for AIDS patients. Ethel’s little spread in Virginia could be converted into low income housing. Maybe a half-way house for pervs. All those malefactors of great wealth would have to work for a living. Mopping johns would be a good place to start.

Another light bulb moment happened this morning.



How has Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, everyone’s favorite combo of yenta, shrew, and Medusa, kept her lip zipped all these years?

It’s bad enough for her when she can’t get any traction on her 4th and 5th trimester abortion bill. But just imagine how bad she must feel when she sees some red neck, gun loving, Duck Dynasty fan, Tea Party supported, knuckle scraping Congressman from East Jabib who asks how can you give a tax cut to someone who has no income earning a dollar to her .77 cents?

Do the NCAA championship Lady Huskies get 77% of the scholarship pelf that the NCAA championship Non-Lady Huskies get?

Why not have them play each other?

If the chicks win they get the missing 23%. If the guys lose the 23% comes out of their hide. Pelt, not hide. Sorry about that.

We shall undercome!






Kevin Smith