May 1, 2016

“Mayor” Marty Kiar

Broward County Commission

119 S. Andrews Avenue

Ft. Lauderdale, FL. 33301

RE: Dumber than a box of hammers – Some comments on your mini Op-Ed on gender discrimination in today’s Sun Sentinel.

“Mayor” Kiar,

God’s Holy Trousers but spare me from the modern American Liberal outrage over LGBTQU discrimination or I ‘ll have to re-categorize you to being dumber than 2 boxes of hammers, broken hammers to be precise.

“The county commission voted unanimously to hold an

    upcoming press conference with business leaders and 

     other elected officials to stand in solidarity with local

      governments that no longer have the right to enact

                 protections that prohibit discrimination.”

                                     The Sun Sentinel

  Today

                                               You

Inspired by the ghosts of Strunck & White I held that sentence up to a mirror hoping that it would make sense that way. Alas, it was not to be. But I digress.

The first thing we do is to rule out you and your likeminded pandering ilk from risking an Antigone moment. Ditto for Horatius at the gate. Shaking your fist at gender, transgendered, regendered, degendered, or worse, ungendered discrimination does not put you at risk for a Saint Thomas More moment when your protest is over.

I’ll save you the Google time. All the people mentioned save you died for their beliefs.

I understand that the Broward county Commission will begin its meetings by pledging allegiance to androgyny. The Epicene Creed shall replace the outdated Nicene Creed. Broward County wants to be the first place to approve manatee suffrage. It is a well known fact that Dr. Mengele would win any primary he ran in because of his enlightened view on women’s reproductive rights and for his support of 4^th and 5^th  trimester abortions.

Speaking of freedoms….

I have been planning on burning the sacred Koran, the equally sacred Bible, and the American flag on the steps of the court house on July 4^th at noon. I will have a gallon of pig piss handy if a conflagration breaks out. Can I count on your support on this? 

I would like to have a showing of the Mohammed cartoons. Will you support me in support of free speech?

If I  show up at your Profiles in Courage press conference with a sign that says

NO URINALS IN THE LADIES’ LOO

will you protect me from the dreaded Word Police?

Is “putz” a gender specific term?

Have you ever heard of Socrates? If I send you some hemlock will you promise to take it? Meanwhile, keep your mouth shut and people will only think you are a horse’s ass. When you open it you remove all doubt.

Kevin Smith