October 22, 2019 What happens when you combine Al Czervik, the funny parts of Antigone, a really juiced Sam Kinison, The Ox-Bow Incident, a modern American Liberal yearning for the good old days of the Star Chamber, The Crucible, a bit of Breaker Morant, and then top it off with a bevy of “men without chests”?

October 22, 2019

What  happens when you combine Al Czervik, the funny parts of Antigone, a really juiced Sam Kinison, The Ox-Bow Incident, a modern American Liberal yearning for the good old days of the Star Chamber, The Crucible, a bit of Breaker Morant, and then top it off with a bevy of “men without chests”?

Before you answer, pause and mourn the loss of Charles Krauthammer while asking if George Will will ever find his way?

When did the haunting riffs of the George Costanza School of Private Probity and Public Policy become the tunes to which we must all dance?

For 2 years we have waited and waited for Congressman Adam Schiff – and I must add that he took quite a few well-earned beatings when he was in high school – to release the secret evidence that he alone has seen of Trump working to overcome his bladder infection at the Duranty-Hiss Collective Holistic Spa of Wellness located in a better mannered Gulag. 

Godot will show up wearing a lighted busker suit before it does.

Meanwhile, in a bow to reality, Lieawatha Warren will have to dig up the big bag of wampum that her family has hidden in Superstition Mountain. That’s the bag that has Custer’s heart and Uncas’s will, inter alia. She said that the initial investment of $800,000,000,000 – eight hundred billion dollars – to close the educational equity gap that has survived Johnson’s War on Poverty, Carter’s Department of Education, changing pi from 3.1416 to 3.0 to build the esteem and self-image of inner city youth, particularly the ones who because of a lack of cheap public transportation have been denied the benefits of “Midnight Basketball”. I must add, for the record, that they are being raised by single MOMS, women of color, who can’t afford, despite ObamaCare saving everyone in America $200 a month, a good Ritalin/Dilantin program. Justice Marshall was right when he said in his assenting opinion to Roe v Wade that Black folk favored abortion as a viable alternative to facing the rigors of Black life in America.

$800,000,000? Chump change

She is uncertain whether to tax people for letting the sun shine in their houses or giving them tax credits for not drowning polar bears. Her energy plan calls for cutting a foot off the top of the blanket and sewing it to the bottom if your feet are cold. The heart of a Capitalist writ large! Una cabeza de ca-ca.

I am glad the DWEM shibboleth, the more than 2 millennia-old example of Raw White Privilege, the notorious POST HOC PROPTER HOC Logical construct, is to be universally applied. Confidential sources tell me that the number of physical assaults on EMT/Paramedics almost doubled during the reign of Barack the Benevolent. What do you make of that? I could connect the dots and tie to, and in a most convincing manner, to the persistent penchant of modern American Liberals to be fervent fans and cacophonous cheerleaders for anti-nomianialism but I won’t.

Justin Trudeau, Liberal Prime Minister of Canada, will form a new government with a somewhat diminished majority despite being photographed wearing Black face, and in a reach to the undecideds, Brown face. He was endorsed by Barack Obama.

Casey Stengel always said that 5 guys on his team hated him, 5 guys loved him, and that his toughest job was to keep the haters away from the undecideds. Fish stink form the head plus, you can’t fire all the players which is why you fire the manager.

The Florida Senate Committee, in an unsurprising vote on strict party lines, voted to uphold the suspension of former Broward Sherriff Scott Israel. In Florida a Sherriff is directly elected by the voters and is a separate Constitutional office as is the Superintendent of Elections. He can be removed from office by the Governor for doing his job poorly. The full Senate will vote tomorrow.

The conflict of rights is obvious. Removing an elected official for any reason is, and should be, a difficult task. Let the record show that on his watch Broward County had 2 mass shootings. One was at the airport with the other being at MSD High School in 2018. From the latter, 2 commandants have resigned along with 6 patrol officers, one of whom was indicted for dereliction of duty, said dereliction being his showing of the white feather.

Balancing the conflict should be easy. Why the son of a bitch wasn’t run out of town on a rail is beyond me.

Alas, for the 2^nd time in ¾ months I had a light bulb die on me. Before I disposed of it in an environmentally sensitive manner, I inspected the corpus. The bulb was made in India. Using the Logical fallacy, the one mentioned earlier, can I blame the Macaca dot heads or will I have to promise to denounce Kipling if Obama forgives me?

Perhaps it is onset senescence but when did Houston get into the American League when die Washington get into the National League?

I am late to the NYC/Mother Cabrini statue dustup but I am coming down with the nun. Mayor DeBlasio, and what a friggin’ ohmadan he is, a man who is so jealous of San Francisco being “the take down your pants and shit in the streets” capitol – and why do I think that they don’t do that in front of the Fairmount, yet? – that he provides shuttle buses for emigres who want to empty bowel and bladder by Father Duffy’s statue – took issue with his former Lesbian wife and vetoed her committee’s near unanimous vote to honor the Saint who was known as the Guardian of Immigrants, particularly the tired, the poor and those poor souls waiting to be hugged by one of God’s good people?

I remember when Senator Alpha Gump, and if ever the term friggin’ moron needed  face, told us in 1991 that, forget about the big bad wolf, the hole in the dike, and the heartbreak of psoriasis, the real villain, perhaps the first climatological existential threat, was the closing of the ozone layer. Like a sphincter opening and shutting just before your IRA audit, the damn thing was going to doom us all. And worse, women and minorities would suffer, as always, disparately and disproportionately.

I hate to piss in anybody’s soup but “the consensus of scientists” tells us that the hole is now tighter than a clam’s ass. And that’s waterproof. My grandfather, Jack Smith, the one who had one of his 2 uncles die who were there on July 2, 1863, at Gettysburg, with both wearing Blue, was always fascinated with the empirically self-evident truth – sometimes an inconvenient one – that here were more horses’ asses than horses’ heads. 

Confidential sources, who must remain confidential, tell me that Congressman Schiff, who will soon be wearing a black mask, is searching for any survivors of Andrei Vishinski for the upcoming Washington, DC show trial. And we all know who will play the role of Bukharin. 

The obverse of that coin is simple: Should the need arise will there be a Senator Ross?

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

PS – Is it scrotum scrunching tine for the dynamic duo of Clapper and Brennan, the Scylla and Charybdis of the deep diving denizens of the modern American Liberal swamp? I know, don’t ask how, that they both have urologists on speed dial.

Please Hillary, please, please, I am available for Chardonnay sessions cum senior citizen sexual encounters – memories of Vince /foster, no? -  but only if you decide to run.

The Dolphins are in danger of becoming mediocre, tilting towards almost respectable.