Beth Reinhard The Miami Herald

October 10, 2009

Beth Reinhard
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, Florida 33132-1693

RE: Ethics, lobbyists, the First Amendment, and how confusing it all gets. A different take on your small case smirking hissy-fit column in today’s Miami Herald.

Ms. Reinhard,

I imagine the precedent for appointing a somewhat ethically challenged former legislator/lobbyist/businessman was established by President Roosevelt, “the one in the wheelchair, not the one who shot bears” to quote that noted American sage P.J. O’Rourke, when he made that old corsair, Poppa Joe Kennedy, the first head of the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Although I am bound and determined not to be cliché ridden talk about putting the fox in charge of the hen house! A Mother Teresa type, whatever her good qualities might be, would not be a thief among thieves. Hence, she would not be able to clean the Augean stables made foul when men discover that they are not angels.

Before Poppa Joe went off the London to become a bit of a cheerleader for Hitler he got the Securities and Exchange Act of 1934 passed. That’s the one that said you can commit fraud by doing nothing. It’s the commission/omission part in case you’re interested.

I point this out because most comments on ethics – particularly in the political arena – are, perforce, lacking any knowledge of the etymology of “ethics”.

I don’t know what your reading habits are but you may want to include Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics in your unread/must read list.

Suffice to say that the Ancients sought a balance in all things.

I mention the First Amendment because it begins with 5 majestic words. “Congress shall make no law…”

The same law that allows me to burn both the bible and the American flag, and why do I think that the Koran will not be included on the modern American Liberal of things that can and should be burned, also says that I can petition the legislature for a redress of grievances. I have been asking the Miami Herald for several years to show their solidarity with the First Amendment by publishing those over the top funny cartoons about Mohammed. If American taxpayers can subsidize “Piss Christ” why can’t we have an exhibition of art poking fun at that silly old goat humper?
I find it amusingly contradictory that that modern American Liberals, particularly those who qualify as ink stained wretches and wenches, revel in the common universal sin of “eclectic indignation”.

You say that the wife of John Trasher, he being the subject of chastising column, is “lobbying for offshore drilling”.

Florida has lobbyists for aging greyhounds and pregnant pigs. Billy Carter, Jimmuh’s beer swilling, nose picking, ass scratching brother, was a lobbyist for Moamar Kaddafi.

The wife of former Senator Tom Daschle made $4,000,000 lobbying for Boeing. The United States Senate said, “So what.”

Broward County has a Commissioner – Ilene Lieberman – whose name changes when she lobbies the legislature in Tallahassee. As soon as she exits Area Code 954 she becomes Ilene Michelman.

Now that Speaker Pelosi has “drained the Washington swamp” and rooted out the “culture of corruption in Congress” perhaps she could spend some time down here. Our Augean stables are just as befouled as those in Washington. It took Christ to rid the temple of its money changers. Maybe she could bring President B.O. with her. He’s the closest thing to divinity in this country. By the by, my confidential sources, sources that must remain confidential, tell me that Bo, President BO’s dog, has won next year’s Best in Show at Westminster.

The great Nechemie told me about the bag test for making determinations about situations that may be improper or, worse, unethical.

If you are uncertain about whether something is ethical or not put it in a paper bag and put the bag in a closet. Pull it out a day later and stick you head in. If it stinks throw it out.

It’s almost too simple.





Kevin Smith