Carol Rosenberg The Miami Herald

October 11, 2009

Carol Rosenberg
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, Florida 33132-1693

RE: “Banned in Gitmo” – The horror, the horror of all those misguided youths being denied the comforts of Noam Chomsky while they dream of 72 virgins. It’s all explained by you in today’s Miami Herald.

Ms. Rosenberg,

I am sorry that the burnoosed bomb throwing WOGs currently trussed up at Camp Gitmo are denied access to Noam Chomsky and his obfuscatory persiflage. Translating his books into something approaching readable English would be an example of cruel and unusual punishment.

I have been trying to read him since 1962.

I take a stab at it during every lunar eclipse. I hold a copy of Ulysses – Joyce, not Tennyson – upside down in front of a mirror. Then I go forward with the knowledge that even though it is dark and dangerous work somebody has to do it lest the terrorists win. When the EKG goes to flat line I will have his tomes IVed into me lest I cross the bar absent the joy of figuring out just what in the Hell the old grifter is talking about.

Speaking of books being banned at Camp Gitmo, maybe you can tell me why the Mohammed cartoons are banned in Miami? I thought the Miami Herald abhorred ”slippery slopes” and “chilling effects”. The chattering classes have granted a full pardon to Roman Polanski for canoodling a 13 year old girl. What is the big deal if Mohammed, that old goat humper, set his sights on a 6 year old 14 centuries ago? Publish and be damned!

Would you, as an influential member of the old media, care to join me on the steps of the Court House in Fort Lauderdale for a celebration of our freedoms? First, I will burn the American flag. Then I will burn the bible. Then I will burn the Koran.

Lest the fires burn out of control I will have a real life replica of Piss Christ handy to douse the flames.

Speaking of getting a book on the approved list…

I have one that qualifies on 17 of 30 criteria established by the wanabee Catos.

Las Commedia, The Divine Comedy, by Dante.
Some of the best parts are about Muslims. Since he is extremely critical of his own faith there should be tolerance for how he speaks of other faiths.

“Halfway Through My Journey I Found Myself In the Dark Wood Of Error”

That’s how Dante started his poem. It’s still good advice for mid-life crises. It might turn some of those misguided youths away from the dark side.

Ezra Pound, and try to imagine 20th century literature without him, spent 13 years nicked up in a looney bin. He was never indicted. He was never tried. He was never convicted.

Do think his books were banned from him?

Come to think of it reading Chomsky is like reading Pound for the first time without the funny parts.






Kevin Smith