Posts
October 18, 2009
Steven Ross
The Miami Dolphins
2269 Dan Marino Boulevard
Miami Gardens, Florida 33056
RE: Rush Limbaugh, the “divisiveness” of slatternly, potty mouth minority owners, and how does this help on 3rd and long?
Mr. Ross,
Let us stipulate that Jennifer Lopez has the most perfect ass in Christendom. I intentionally exclude the Muslim world for fear that I will offend them. Presumably Muslim women have shapely asses also but who can tell what with them all wrapped up in adult swaddling clothes, 9 yards of Muslim muslin mizzen, and a catcher’s mask
But that’s not the reason why I will no longer be buying tickets to Dolphin games at Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Landshark Stadium.
I read her song lyrics.
“motherfuckin’”, “pussy niggahs”, “pussy hoes”.
If Lord Barack the Beneficent and blessed be his name can win a Nobel Prize for not doing anything she can win one for expanding our language. I am a big fan and a constant re-reader of Ulysses – the one by Joyce, not the one by Tennyson. If I believed that those lyrics would help the Wildcat work better or would get Bob Kuechenberg into the Hall of Fame I would have her lead the crowd in a sing along before every kick off.
It won’t.
I am so far behind the curve of pop culture that I thought Fergie was the toe sucking ex-wife of Randy Andy. He once was #2 in line to the British throne. The thought of her being so close to the Crown Jewels might have given rise to a re-make of “Kind Hearts and Coronets” or maybe an updated version of “Richard the 3rd”.
This Fergie is also a song writer.
Neither Lorenz Hart nor Hank Williams have to worry about being replaced in the Hall of Fame of lyricists.
“Myhumpmyhumpmyhumpmyhumpmyhump”
“I’ma getgetgetget you drunk
Get you drunk off my hump.”
I don’t know what that means. I don’t know if anyone other than a certified “Trousered Ape” could know what that means. It could mean Hook and Ladder like the one used against the Chargers. It could mean to keep Ypremian from carrying the ball.
If it increased hang time or gave a quick read on a rotating two deep zone there might be a place for it.
It won’t and there isn’t.
I know that Rush Limbaugh got clotheslined for something he didn’t say.
I know that these two potty mouthed bimbo wanabees got their varsity letter and privileged parking for using words in public that their fathers would have probably given them a major league ass whipping. Maybe part of the deal was a bit of the gobble for you. If so, well you go guy! Nothing more undivisive than some trim.
Hey! It’s your club. You can do whatever you want to do with it except if its “divisive”.
You can do it without me.
I must add that I stopped going to NBA games 17 years ago.
Why should I part with a Benjamin to be surrounded by Shaft lookalikes using “niggah” as a noun, a verb, an adjective, a gerund, an expletive [I used to use my own euphemism for “niggah”. It was “the dreaded “N” word that no White man dare to use”. That sounds stilted now, doesn’t it?] If I had used it then I would have been assaulted by the “Boyz in the Hood” and probably been arrested for committing a hate crime.
Footballs take funny bounces.
We are in a Looking Glass time.
Verdict first; then the trial or, better, no trial.
Include me out.
Kevin Smith
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
It seems to me that all the negative vibes this blowhard (Rush Hudson Limbaugh A.KA. Jeff Christie) has been spewing over these many years has come back to blow back on his face (A classic “Blow Back”). He always tries to give off the airs that he can have anything he wants but as we all witness those with more money and more influence tossed him aside like sack of potatoes and the ultimate insult was that it was done in public (money don’t buy you everything butterball).
Now of course he blames everyone else (Michael J. Fox, Perez Hilton, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Sonia Sotomayor, Hillary Clinton, Olympia Snowe, ESPN, NFL, the media, basically people of color, the handicapped, women and gays) when of course all you have to do is listen to his show and plainly hear his daily prejudices filled sermons. So NFL, I salute you decision, job well done. And to the whaling cry baby perched on his self made pedestal, quit your whining it was your own fault. He is reaping what he has sowed, KARMA, "palin and simple" like his followers. Don’t we all feel better?
Post a Comment