Gary Stein – Senior Editorial Writer The Sun-Sentinel

May 16, 2010

Gary Stein – Senior Editorial Writer
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: “It’s good to be the King.” I am shocked, shocked when any modern American Liberal, one well on the path to morphing into a Progressive, reveals his dark side. Your column today on the advantages of not having to cope with the have-nots on our highways reads like Dynasty Lite.

Mr. Stein,

Maybe money can’t buy happiness – We know from the evidence of our own eyes that 45 years of good, really good intentions and 10 trillion dollars worth of canceled checks that it can’t buy our way out of poverty – but it sure helps when you eschew disdainfully the joys and societal benefits of mass transit when you want to get someplace in a hurry.

You write how much you like driving in the express toll lane. If your column had gone one paragraph more you would have become a la Chris Matthews certainly tumescent and possibly priapristic.

Working for a company in bankruptcy gives one a devil may care attitude. Your sprint to the dark side, the side where polluting rich Republicans, Republicans tattooed with Cheney’s snarling happy face, sit and plot how many more lashes they can give to the poor, is proof positive that this is still a great country. “Lord, make me strong”, an African said 18 centuries ago. “Tomorrow.”

Regardless of your brief visit to Xanadu it’s time to wake up and smell the hydrocarbons.

[An aside – Your headline yesterday said that the bright side of the oil spill was that it “created” many new jobs. Would not Logic dictate that if we want to see boom times before the November elections that Lord Barack the Beneficent and Blessed be his Name may want to blow up about 15 more wells? Your headline this morning about Florida lagging in the number of complaints about physicians may suggest that medical care in Florida is uncommonly good. Alas, that lacks the “Man bites Dog” mind set but the facts would support that interpretation, don’t you think?]

25% of the gasoline used in this country comes from oil produced in the Gulf of Mexico.

I don’t just want you to give up driving in the express lane. I want you to give up driving for one week each month. By the end of the year I want you to give up your car. The Sun-Sentinel can be its own Green Zone. As of January 1, 2011 no Sun-Sentinel employee can use a private automobile to drive to and from work. Unborn polar bears will thank you if only they could

Mass transit is the answer. I am not sure what the question was but since Nobel Laureate and Oscar winning former V.P. Alpha Gump told us that “the internal combustion engine is the worst invention of mankind” the choice is simple.

It’s time for you to take the lead.

But wait. There’s more.

Turn off the A/C in Sun-Sentinel HQ. Full disclosure requires me to tell you that I have been asking the Miami Herald to do the same since 1997. I am still waiting. Maybe you can get a leg up on them.

Open the windows.

Think how proud you’ll be when you bring the hand held fan industry back to our shores. You will have “created” thousands and thousands of new jobs. An added bonus will be the smile on the face of the trustee in bankruptcy when he sees how low your expenses have become. You may save enough money to give your street vendors, modern day matadors all, hospitalization and a retirement package.

50% of the electricity produced in this country comes from coal burning utilities.Ugh. Think of Black Lung and stripped mine mountain tops. Think how much better you’ll feel when you force West Virginia out of the Steam Age and into the Information Age.

We need you to set an example.

We will follow.

Maybe.


Kevin Smith


PS – Skip The Who for your last weeks behind the wheel. Some combination of Mozart and David Allen Coe is what you need. Don’t forget your passing gear.