Stephen L. Goldstein The Sun-Sentinel

May 7, 2010

Stephen L. Goldstein
The Sun-Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: Let’s throw those rascals out so we can get our rascals in – a wry take on your column about those damn voters and why won’t they do what’s right.

My dear Professor,

Your column highlighting “with advantages” the good times of 32 years ago is so achingly modern American Liberal that, in addition to making my hair hurt, it makes my finger nails curl backwards. Welcome to the modern American Liberal memory hole!

1978 – 32 years ago – was the peak of the Carter years until 1979 became the peak. Then 1980 raised the bar so high that even Lord Barack the Beneficent and Blessed be His Name will be hard put to top it. I think he’s up to it, don’t you?

Let it be said of Carter, hands down the worst President of the 20th century, that the only good thing he did was to make it easy for the great Reagan to come upon the scene and save the world.

Gas lines, 13% inflation, 16.5% prime rate, killer rabbits, 19% mortgages, stagflation…God’s Holy Trousers but I miss the good old days too!

Mea culpa.

I forgot the American hostages in Iran and the Rube Goldberg attempt to rescue them. It was obvious by then that despite a degree in engineering with a concentration in physics this dunce couldn’t find his ass using his hands, his mother’s, his daughter’s, and Billy’s also. You remember Billy, don’t you? He was the guy who sold beer and shilled for Kadafi. Forget about leading a country. This nit-wit couldn’t arrange a two car funeral. Hey Jimmy! What color is an orange?

Ah, the perils of universal suffrage.

Wasn’t that the time Janet Reno began her illustrious prosecutorial career?

Halcyon days indeed.

Which lead me to your views of Florida and a lesson in vocabulary.




“First, we have to elect a Democratic Governor”
Today
You

Alex Sink is the presumptive Democratic nominee.

She worked for the Bank of America. Presumably, I hope I hope, she had nothing to do with mortgages, CMOs, CCOs, credit cards, or stock transactions. That leaves Christmas Clubs, SBA, and the United Way

What did she do there?

Further, her immediate supervisor, the man she reported to, was “Hootie” Johnson. Hootie has one big item that will appear in his obit. He kept the chicks out of the Masters. If you had ovaries the only way you would get to handle a Green Jacket was if you ironed it.

Did Ms. Sink support this?

What did Ms. Sink do for Hootie? Did she get him coffee? Did she demand gender equity? Did she help him do pushups? I think the public’s Right to Know trumps all other considerations. Don’t you agree?

“Second, we need to pass Constitutional amendments 5 and 6,
mandating the fair drawing of districts so the state’s Democratic
majority can be proportionately represented in the legislature.”
Today
You

I believe that right up to the time you submitted your column your last sentence ended thusly: regardless of how the people voted. It’s hard to prove a negative. For that matter, it’s hard to disprove one either.

Faustian bargains are always two edged swords. The drive for Affirmative Action in the legislature called for a mutual disavowal of Baker v Carr. Everybody was happy, right?

Do you mean that we should undo the artfully constructed districts that would send a Jack the Ripper to the legislature provided he answered to the name Black Jack the Ripper?

Congressman Meek got his seat the old fashioned way. His mommy gave it to him. It is not known whether Mommy gave it to him because he cleaned his room, walked the dog, or finally stopped wetting his pants. Brer Bear would have won there.

One district sent a felon, Alcee Hastings, to Congress. There was some good to come from this. It cut back on the time lost on the slippery slope of the learning curve.

Finally, the vocabulary lesson

Your last sentence contains the word tea-bagger in the lower case.

We all know that the Red Queen said “Words mean exactly what I want them to mean”.

By Red Queen I mean the one by Lewis Carroll, not the one from the Stonewall.

I thought that tea-bagger was a synonym for faggot or queer.

Did you mean to say that tea baggers are faggots or queers?

I thought some words, words like Islamic terrorist, the dreaded “N” word, cartoons of Mohammed, and any word that offends homosexuals or lesbians, unless used by them, were verboten.

Did you intend to insult the trans-gendered, cross-gendered, bi-gendered, non-gendered, non-specific gendered, ungendered or overgendered readers of your column?

Tell me, please, if your guys get to pull the strings in November will we go straight to the soon to be envied Greek model or should we stop at the California template first?

Be careful what you hope for. The change you get may not be what you had in mind.


Kevin Smith



PS – I must tell you that your cries of the “only way…for all Floridians…to give the tea-baggers a civic lesson in how real revolutions are won…” has a stirring cadence to it. The Fatal Conceit of modern American Liberals, now calling themselves Progressives, is that knowing that they alone have the truth they have no problem in putting their foot on the necks of those who say no. Isn’t that what Hitler did? How many brown shirts do you have? Is the Horst Wessel song or Panzerleid your favorite Nazi tune?