Governor Charlie Crist

May 13, 2010

Governor Charlie Crist
The Capitol
400 S. Monroe Street
Tallahassee, FL 32399-0001

RE: Forget about the oil spill

Governor Crist,

What’s a little oil on the beach? It’s biodegradable. It’s low in cholesterol. It’s good for sunburns. Let’s try to put a good face on it, OK?

There are more important – forgive me – fish to fry.

Arizona, for instance.

I suggest that a visible response to the Cossack thugs in Arizona would be any or all of the following:

#1 – Nonstop flights originating in Arizona will not be allowed to land in Florida.
#2 – No Florida school that receives taxpayer money can play against any team from Arizona.
#3 – Any professional team based in Arizona will be subject to a 100% tax on the visitor’s share of revenue on any game played in Florida. The same rule will apply to players.
#4 – Florida has plenty of oranges. If we need any we can get them from Brazil. Ban all Arizona oranges. Have the DMV stop and examine all trucks thought to be from or having transited through Arizona.
#5 – If the Seminoles or Miccosukees are cousins of either the Chiricauha or White Mountain Apaches scalp them
#6 – Invite any harassed Mexicans to Disney World.

The above suggestions are just a start.

Call me if you want to discuss any of them.




Kevin Smith