Margaret Carlson Bloomberg News

September 3, 2010

Margaret Carlson
Bloomberg News
1399 New York Avenue
Washington, DC 20005

RE: Addenda – never errata - on candidates with “slim credentials”

Ms. Carlson,

In my haste to keelhaul Congressman Patrick “Little Shit” Kennedy, an endeavor which Christian charity demands that I place a limit on myself – How many baby seals can I harvest before “wretched excess” sets in? – I left out two things.

#1 – It pains me to say it but he does have a legacy. He has left footprints for others to follow. I have long pondered what the benchmarks, the paradigmatic templates, the “God but I want to be just like him” were for two of our mast revered youth. The two I am thinking of were able to overcome the rocky road of a privileged upbringing. It doesn’t take long to get used to someone cutting the crust off your toast or straining your orange juice lest you encounter some feral pits. That they have made a model for other similarly situated youths to follow is a tribute to the Prince of Pinheads, Congressman Patrick, the Perpetual Putz, Kennedy.

PARIS HILTON & LINDSAY LOHAN

COME ON DOWN!

#2 – Was there ever a more “slim credentialed” candidate than his father? Lard Kennedy raised the bar so high it could only be topped by someone as good as himself. Since acorns never fall far from the tree it was only fitting and proper that his son reclaimed the ancient Golden Fleece. I feel uncomfortable implying anything Herculean when speaking of those two poltroons. Let me amend that. Herculean would apply to their appetites; never to their achievements.

Let’s take a look at Dad

Fatso Teddy spent the end of the Korean War as a GI not in Korea but in Paris. A little bird is whispering in my ear that Poppa Joe, the World Famous Corsair, had something to do with that.

He got tossed out of two schools for cheating. The only serious contender for that laurel was when Albert Arnold Gore, Jr., he of “unreleased shakra” and “sex crazed poodle” fame, flunked out of two graduate schools in one semester. Now that’s a record worthy of Guinness consideration!

Edward Moore Slojanowski? Edward Moore Goldstein? Edward Moore Obama?

Put any of those names on the Massachusetts ballot in 1962. Even the dead wouldn’t have voted for him. The loutish bastard probably wouldn’t have voted for himself.

The only way he would have gotten to the United States Senate would have been as Exhibit A for raising the drinking age to 46 or as a probationary John mopper.

He killed someone. Since he was already in the Senate when she was killed it wouldn’t be fair to mention her so I won’t

Little Patsy, Young Turd to his fans, had two uncles who did positive things before they were elected.

His Uncle John “saw the elephant” He led men in combat.

His Uncle Bobby worked for Senator McCarthy – That’s Joe of Wisconsin, not Gene of Minnesota – before turning to procreating full time. His second job as a lawyer was being named Attorney General of the United States. His most notable achievement was wire tapping Martin Luther King. His record for superior achievement was not topped until Janet Reno began her illustrious career by charbroiling some 7 dozen of her fellow citizens at Waco.

And you say Ben Quayle has “slim credentials”?

“I’ll retire to Bedlam.”





Kevin Smith