Representative Jim Waldman

September 29, 2010

Representative Jim Waldman
4800 W. Copans Rd.
Coconut Creek, FL 33063-3164

RE: Who farted?

Yo! Jimbo!

As someone on the back nine of life, as someone raised in the maelstrom of Hudson County, NJ politics, as someone who knows the difference between the buttered side and the dry I shouldn’t feel seduced and abandoned.

I do. I do.

In correspondence and conversation I thought I had found the head of the Mr. Rogers wing of the Broward County wing of the Democratic Party. Instead I found the friggin’ Cookie Monster.

It is a small thing, “no bigger than a man’s fist on the horizon”, but it gives you an automatic “F” on the Bag Test. Bag Test? Send a SASE.

You join the distinguished herd of modern American Liberal Democrats – Did I just repeat myself? – who don’t live in the district that they represent.

Bobby Kennedy, Senator Joe McCarthy’ first lawyer and Fatso Kennedy’s older brother, didn’t establish New York residence until he was elected to the United States Senate in 1964.

Hillary Rodham Clinton, a lady known to order pastrami on white toast with bacon, lettuce, and tomato plus plenty of mayonnaise, a lady who could have the Yankees logo tattooed on one of her not quite steatagynous buttocks and a schematic of the not yet finished 2nd Avenue subway tunnel on the other, is as much a New Yorker as I am the Mayor of Mecca.

You have leg up on Toad Wexler – and what a shit he was/is – in that at least you still live in Florida. That contemptible poltroon lived in Maryland. At least you still live in the same area code.

Is it chutzpah, is it cojones, or is it some strange multi-cultural cross polonization that enables you to say “It’s no big deal”? If it’s not such a big deal, if it’s “small potatoes” as the late Hyman Roth of Miami once said, why do you go to the bother of renting an apartment in the district that you represent? Next you’ll say that you get your shirts done [no starch, on hangars] a few blocks from the house you don’t live in and that your favorite Chinese take away is in the district.
It all comes down to honor, “a gift we give ourselves”.

An accounting of your stewardship finds you woefully short.

It is the thread most common to modern American Liberals.

Shame on me for thinking you were different.





Kevin Smith