Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Democratic National Committee

April 15, 2011

Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol St. SE
Washington, DC 20003

RE: Tax Day, the anniversary of the RMS Titanic failing to make port, happy talk, and Broward county Pols who will soon have their own chapter in the next Guinness Book under the heading “Girl Pols Gone Wild”.

Debbie, Debbie,

You may not have noticed what with having to keep Curly Biden – Curly? Named in honor of the Smartest Stooge and the rumor that you should address is that he wears dark suits because he wets his pants a lot – awake when Lord Barack the Beneficent is telling lies in public but some other turds are popping up in the punch bowl. For the record let me say that I know that he is lying in public because there is a teleprompter in front of him and, yes, he is moving his lips. It is a Fail-Safe test. When his pants go on fire it’s like gilding a lily.

It’s been a tough month for Broward County pols, particularly the ladies, and may I say God Bless ‘em. These broads are running out of glass ceilings to crash through. Even though Broward County pol and thoroughly modern American Liberal are interchangeable terms it is always good to announce who and what they are.

Tom Eliot, that old English cat lover, was right.

“April is the cruelest month…”

Diana Wasserman-Rubin, Broward’s first Juban to have a mug shot taken, with her husband tip-toeing up the steps of the Federal Court House to the door marked “plea bargains”…

Sylvia Poitier, and if Gone With The Wind has a second life there will be no need to call Central Casting, whose husband may not be a Prince but that’s his name…

Stacy Ritter, Lois Wexler, Deputy Mayor Calabash Tobasco-Flashman, Beverly Gallagher, Cindi Hutchinson, inter alia. The reason why I feel like I am in a coven of felonious Amazons who belong to a sorority with an initiation rite of stealing the pennies off a dead man’s eyes is because I am.

I speak for my gender when I say it is time for some male crooks.




Didn’t you prattle on about your generation – “particularly females” – being “underrepresented”? Imagine if the ERA had passed. We would be building prisons on the friggin’ moon to keep these thieving “Colonels’ ladies and Rosie O’Gradys” locked up.

Don’t tell that to the defense lawyers, bail bonders [note the androgynous term], and people who tailor the orange suits so favored by “alleged perps” when they come shackled to their arraignment.

Forget about any Mexican cartels.

This is the Little Women, and who says you need testicles to have Big Brass Balls, Ladies with Red Hats, the hats doubling as Loot Bags, and the steps at City Hall are up for grabs, sewing circle and remember that Fagin and Dismas had daughters marching society, book club, and doyennes of the Five Finger Discount Ladies’ Auxiliary. Imagine if the ERA

We may have to use some “kinetic military action” to get “regime change” in Broward County. It sounds like a job for Wonder Woman. Why don’t you try it?

As ChairChick of the National Democratic Party I feel it is my duty to tell you that some of your charges are going off message.

You gave a speech in January about civil discourse and reasoned debate. You said “bile and vitriol” were “tearing us apart at the seams”. The net result was one Democratic member of the Wisconsin legislature shouting “You suck” at another member. That was followed up with a member screaming “You’re fucking dead” at another member. Alas, there is no mystery here. The “bile and vitriol” pitchers were both Democrats. The catchers were both Republicans.

Now we have a Democratic member, Margo David, of the Pennsylvania legislature who asked while she was on the Floor and the Assembly was in session if it would be “OK to blow Republican member Daryl Metcalfe’s brains out”. In Ms. David’s defense let it be said that she did not engage in hate speech. It is a well known fact that Ms. David believes that Islam is a religion of peace.

Since today is the traditional Tax Day I think you should tell Secretary of State Clinton to file an extension. [I am pretty sure that her husband, Handsome Billy from Hot Springs, now a citizen of the Republic of Soros files his taxes on the Kingdom of Sark.] She owes anywhere from $400,000 to $7,000,000 to Democratic pollster Mark Penn since 2007. The reason why the discrepancy is so huge is that the crack green eye shades from Fanny Mae, Freddy Mac, Sallie Mae, and Daisy Mae are doing the books. This may shock and amaze you but pollster Penn got several millions of dollars form the hugely successful Obama Stimulus Program. Nothing like finding a “shovel ready” job when you really need one.

The Titanic reference is straightforward.

Sometimes things right in front of you can’t be seen.

There is an iceberg forming now that is the size of Rhode Island. Pretty soon it is going to be as big as New England. By November, 2012 it is going to be so big that the only valid comparison will be with the deficit, the debt, and the cascading realization that the guy with his hand on both the button and our wallets is a horse’s ass.

All ahead full!





Kevin Smith