Glenn Garvin The Miami Herald

April 25, 2011

Glenn Garvin
The Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132-1693

RE: I guess the old line “If you’re White you’re all right” is still in vogue. Some comments on your article about skin color in the 4/19/11 edition of the Miami Herald.

Mr. Garvin,

Walking back from my first day on the job as a construction worker cum minor league missionary in Huejutla, Mexico – a long, long way from Bayonne, New Jersey – I was struck by two things that have stuck with me.

#1 – Once you drink Mexican beer [La Cerveza Superior and Dos Equis], or for that matter, any beer other than the slop proffered in Norte Americano cantinas back then, you know that “Beer is proof that God loves us”. You learn that Budweiser is the anti-Christ.

#2 – Why were those little Indian kids, kids for whom Spanish was a second language, pulling the hair on my arms?

As to #1…God Bless Samuel Adams for leading the renascence of beer in America! The rule of de gustibus applies but Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale is my new Numero Uno. I was in England when the Campaign for Real Ale began. Simultaneously, Budweiser had begun a huge ad campaign. I told everyone I could that it was a terrible beer, that they wanted Argentina to take over the Falklands, that the company was filled with Francophiles, and that drinking it led to terminally toxic eructations.

As to #2…The first time I saw a well dressed, well spoken, well spoken in that she spoke better English than I spoke Spanish, Mexican woman, a woman whose family was delighted to entertain los gringos jovenes, you couldn’t help but notice [‘cuz you were supposed to] that she had more external hair [underarms, legs, lip] than Cheetah.

The reason was simple:

That was the best way to say “Soy Blanco”. “I am White.”

Nothing has changed in cuarenta y ocho anos.




Kevin Smith

PS – Shakespeare said that he would make it a crime to drink “small beer”. I take that to mean it was the Elizabethian equivalent of Lite Beer. At my daughter’s wedding reception – as a matter of contract - I banned all Lite Beer and all Budweiser products.