January 19, 2014
Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

RE: “Truth deficit” and something lost has been found – Some comments on the story about your jihad-like stalking of Governor Christie in the Sun Sentinel.

My dear Little Debbie,

As is said on Calle Ocho…

Que cojones!
[cojones? [Traigame un SASE]

As my aunt from Hester Street still says…

“Don’t piss on my back and call it rain.”

The photo on Page 3 of today’s Sun-Sentinel shows you hectoring several members of the media who look like they are about to be overcome by terminal ennui. There is a lady who looks like she wants you to whisper in your husband’s ear that he should renew her bank loan.

Stop the presses!

Something lost and something found

Apparently you have found some of the weight that Governor Christie lost. It looked better on him then it does on you. Since I am calorically challenged I can say that. I will have Weight Watchers call you. You’ll be looking A-OK for this year’s annual Summer of Recovery.

Who knows? Maybe Ben & Jerry will run up a batch of Tofu cum Arugula Not Quite So Chunky Monkey for you.

Meanwhile, avoid horizontal stripes. Think Spandex. Always keep a can of family strength W-40 handy, particularly if you make a pit stop, if you know what I’m saying.

You say, with no hint of wit or sense of ironic mirth that Governor Christie suffers from a “pretty big truth deficit”.

Not so fast!

Speaking of Halusian Gap truth deficits…

#1 – Either the Israeli Ambassador was lying or you were lying. Fess up, you fan of, and I mean both kinds.

#2 – Either you are in favor of increasing sanctions against Iran [You remember Iran, don’t you? They say that some Jews are descended from pigs while others come from monkeys. There’s a Darwin lesson in there someplace but I’ll leave it for a different time. They also say that they want to eradicate Israel as in there will be no trace, nothing, left. That Iran] or you are not.

What you say in Washington is not what you say in Broward County. Up North it’s Nay. Down South it’s Yea.

Pick one. Tell the truth and shame the Devil. It’s emmis-truth time.

Of course, being a modern American Liberal allows and sometimes demands that plaid be your favorite color.

Are injuries caused by “Liar, liar, pants on fire” covered by Obombacare?




Kevin Smith