December 31, 2013
Melissa Harris-Perry
MSNBC
30 Rockefeller Center
New York, New York 10013

RE: OOPS! Somebody did it again – Some comments on why progressive commentators, particularly those who make hecates and harridans seem like Little Miss Sunshine and give bitches a bad name, maybe, sometimes, should have somebody take a dump in their mouths while somebody pisses in their eyes.

Ms. Perry,

Let me apologize in advance for calling you a café-au-lait twit. Let me amend that.

A modern American Liberal café-au-lait twit. Hold on for a bit.

An eclectically indignant modern American Liberal café-au-lait twit. I’m almost there.

A pretentious eclectically indignant modern American Liberal café-au-lait twit.

It’s tough to gild a lily but since I am in Texas – Texas being a place where all things are possible – for Christmas I’ll take another run at it.

A pretentiously perpetual professional victim who is an eternally eclectically indignant modern American Liberal café-au-lait twit

I’m almost there.

Let me jump ahead.

For mocking Mitt Romney’s grandchild – his adopted Black grandchild –
you have earned the last of my highly regarded year end honors

I pronounce you

SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR


One of the benefits of this award is that the whole world will know that you suffer from “non-malaodorous fecal matter syndrome”. A practical side of this would be if someone were to take a successful dump in your mouth you would not have to gargle with Chanel #5 to survive the non-aromatic ordure.
Since recipients of my awards – the other two are HORSE’S ASS OF THE WEEK and POMPOUS FART OF THE MONTH – are overwhelmed by the honor I usually don’t have the need to “revise and extend my remarks”.

I’ll make an exception in your case.

Your CV - that’s curriculum vitae in case you are not familiar with Dead White European Males – says that you are teaching a course on hip-hop and feminism. The Trivium just shuddered. Hip-hop and feminism?

Hip-hop, and correct me if I am wrong, consists of atonal sounds that make rock and roll sound like Bach, that make captive listeners long for the relief that 69 finger nails slowly going up and down a black board would bring. Since no one can understand what is being said the translations are so achingly familiar. There are many compliant bitches, a slew of randy hos, all kinds of humping going on, plus a pig who was shot or is going to be shot. That’s about it, right?

I forgot. There is always a paean to respect and why it is deserved but never gotten and why the cause of this is always, always, evil White folk. That’s about it, right?

Since I won’t be taking the course perhaps you could tell me how the connected dots lead us to the Holy Grail of Feminism.

[Are you now or have you ever been familiar with that Hellenic Ho, Antigone? Also, since you are an academic can you tell me if Wordsworth is still on shit list of academic feminists? Academic feminists? Almost like “jumbo shrimp” or “Ears pierced while you wait”. Is there a “Pierian spring” as “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing; quaff deeply or taste not of the Pierian spring”, nearby? Find it. Swim in it. Drink it. Let its healing waters wash away your academic woes. Begin anew. “It is not too late to seek a better world.” Yes, it is a tough row to hoe for a twit such as you but go girl!

Here’s a plan.

All the lyrics of all the hip-hop songs that I have read portray women either as sperm receptacles or smegma removal artisans. Perhaps, if you are familiar with Lysistrata, another Hellenic chick, [And if you are not, you really should be. You are, aren’t you?] you could combine breaking the chains of bondage that keep these ladies either on their backs or on their knees with some interesting reading.

You may want to have Hillary, the Czarina in waiting, and poster chick for publically humiliated broads, audit your course. She could show your students how to demolish that eternal glass ceiling.

I have no idea if you are even familiar with the Greek tragedies. Maya Angelou isn’t either.

As to “African-American History”, it begins with an inconvenient truth that is intentionally overlooked. About 20 generations back – on his paternal side – the forebears of President B.O. began to cull their herds in a most profitable manner. They sold their ubermenschen into bondage. It took a lot of blood from hundreds of thousands of White people to stop it. [Alas, there are at least 5 Muslim ruled African countries that still allow slavery. Look it up.] At least one of them was mine

Here’s an American tragedy you may be able to introduce in your tutorials. [If you are not familiar with tutorials send a SASE]

Colored Negro African-American Blacks make up ca. 12% of the population. Assuming that the gender split is 50/50 – that’s 50% male and 50% female – females are 6% of the population.

Since Roe v Wade there have been about 75,000,000 abortions performed in this country.

About 3/8ths of these have been performed on Black women. About 30,000,000 black babies have been aborted. It’s Affirmative Action on steroids. If that ain’t genocide I don’t know what is. Where are Jesse and Al when you really need them?

Where are you on this?

If we were to declare unborn Black babies an endangered species – think manatees, think spotted owls, think furbish louseworts - they, and we, would be better served. Them by living; us by not acquiescing in a slaughter that Hitler, Stalin, and Mao would have saluted. Think of 100 Rwandas. Think Hutsi and Tutu in hospital gowns with Obombocare cash cards.

Happy New Year, you motley twit


Kevin Smith


PS – Qui tacet consitire videtur or so said some dead Roman. It means silence gives consent. Your shitilly snarky comments about the latest Romney grandchild, a Black baby who avoided the executioner’s ax, were in keeping with the traditions of modern American Liberalism. Do academic feminists have a position, any position, .either pro or con, on the WOG tradition of excising the G-spot of prepubescent females, usually with the bottom of a Coke bottle? Would it be cultural arrogance to say anything? How about the stoning of women taken in adultery? Speak more clearly. Your silence is deafening. Then again, it is a typical twit trait.