June 16, 2014
Steve Bosquet
The Miami Herald
3511 NW 91st Street
Miami, FL 33172

RE: Who says satire is dead? Not I, I think. – Some comments on the Governor and his sub rosa ties to the Koch Brothers, Big Oil Bambi killers, Global WarmingCooling deniers, and smarmy Spur fans all of which can be explained in his decision to buy some Schlumberger stock in your article in today’s Miami Herald.

Mr. Bosquet,

I fracked my first oil well in Texas in January, 1974.

I was in the coal mining business in Kentucky and West Virginia for 10 years.

I prospected for gold in Timmins, Ontario for 3 years.

I know something about arm wrestling with Mother Nature.

That’s why I always look for the Ignatius J. Reilly side of things.

A sure sign – or so I thought – of his arrival, other than a huge tongue in a ginormous cheek, one crusted with a Homeric grain of salt, Jeezus Haitch Keerist but are you shitting me is when the Bureau of Really Stupid Names goes into overtime in overdrive.

“Preserve our Paradise”
“Protect our Panthers”
“Earth Justice”

I await, with increasingly eager tumescent anticipation, the public naming of the mother of all asshole groups. These are the moronic ohmadahns dedicated to the preservation of the furbish lousewort and also to the end of Western Civilization as we know it.

The “consensus” of the few remaining rational adults, people who see nothing sinister in the coming arrival of the summer solstice or its departure and replacement with the vernal equinox 90 days hence, have chosen

“The Church of Ptolemy and Ned Lud”

until something better comes along.






Perhaps your article should have focused on why our corsair Governor would spend $9,200,000 on a house soon to be 4 feet under water, water from an ocean that did not respond to the President’s command to stop rising. That will happen just before his manse becomes as environmentally as friendly as Gehenna and is assaulted by drowning polar bears.

Can we stipulate that the Governor is to be congratulated for not buying Halliburton?

It’s going to be hot, humid, and stormy today. Great conditions for trapping wandering manatee pups. I have a great recipe for ceviche and sushi that I am always willing to share. Meanwhile I am going to crank up the A/C to meat hanging temperature.




Kevin Smith


PS - Yes, 6/16 has always been a good day for Irishmen, particularly those on the move. Also, if it’s OK to talk about Christie’s weight shouldn’t it be OK to talk about Hillary’s ax handle and a half wide fat ass and her Buddha/Oliver Hardy/Alfred Hitchcock gut?