June 2, 2014
Jac VerSteeg
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: One thing more…How you are about to become, like herpes, the gift that keeps on giving. A sort of ideological chlamydia, if you will.

Mr. VerSteeg,

You asked yesterday if we are “smart enough to combat global warming”. God’s Holy Trousers but I hope not.

Listen carefully. I’ll write slowly.

WHEN THE EARTH WARMS PEOPLE GET SMARTER

The reason is painfully simple even for a horse’s ass like you.

Heat makes more land more arable. More arable land makes more protein available. More protein makes people smarter. Can you see where I’m going here?

An upward spike in temperature 11 centuries gave us the Renaissance. Do you have a problem with Dante?

But to answer your question….

No, we are not smart enough to combat global warming. Deo gracias that we have you to help us through the first difficult days of reverting to hunter/gatherer status. Doubtless, we will all soon be paying obeisance to Ned Lud. I can’t imagine a better high priest than you.

We are coming up to the 100th anniversary of the start of the Great War. One of the great quotes from that fateful August was “The lights are going out all over Europe”. If we follow your premises to their Logical conclusions – Forgive me for making the illogical assumption that modern American Liberals cans do anything that does not offend Logic – we can change it to read “The lights are going out all over Florida”.






One of my favorite scenes in “Jaws” is when the wormy Mayor of Sharktown urges its citizens to go into the water. Nobody wants to be first. You have a chance to be first today.

The EPA announced this morning that it is mandating – Think Canute at the sea shore- a 30% cut in carbon emissions.


40% of the electricity generated in this country comes from burning coal. 50% of that electricity is used to power air conditioners. I am sure the percentage is higher in Florida because it is an empirically self-evident fact that Florida is friggin’ hot a Hell of lot longer than Wynona, MN or Darmiscotta, ME is.

Your choices are simple:

#1 – Turn off all you’re A/Cs for about 40 weeks a year. Pull the plug. Open the windows. My mother used to sprinkle talcum powder on me on a really hot night. I think it worked. Tell everybody you work for that unless they turn off their A/Cs you will no longer work for them.

Be true to your beliefs. Nobody said that being “smart enough to fight global warming” was going to be easy.

#2 – You can continue to be a hypocritical bastard.

There is another point that screams for attention.

As we make coal about as popular as gay marriages in Yemen the Chinese are absolutely peeing in their pants.

The Law of Unintended Consequences will unfold thus:

#! – The price of coal will fall as production goes down.
#2 – Other fuels – oil, gas, nuclear – will replace coal
#3 – Wind and solar will be significant just after the sun rises in the North
#4 – China, building one coal fired plant every 4 days, will double construction.
#5 – India will play carbon belching catch up ball.
#6 – American coal will power Asian economic and military expansion.
#7 – Asian carbon emissions will increase exponentially.
#8 – There goes the perpetual “Summer of Recovery”.





My grandfather, the legendary Jack Smith, always marveled that there were more, substantially more, horses’ asses than there were horses’ heads. Thanks for not letting your side down.

Do you have any idea how the last Ice Age, the one that gave us the Great Lakes and Niagara Falls, ended? Would you believe, you dizzardly fathead, that Global Warming did? Honest. You coiuld look it up






Kevin Smith
El Supremo Warlock
Proud Global Warmers’ Broward Coven







PS – One more, no two more, one more thing. Lose the picture. You look like the last time you took an unexcruciating dump was just before your first birthday. Also, Solyndra
ain’t coming back. Detroit will host the summer Olympics and the next Papal Conclave before Solyndra “creates” jobs, other than for bankruptcy lawyers.