June 1, 2014
Jac VerSteeg
The Sun Sentinel
500 E. Broward Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33394

RE: No so fast, you twit – Some comments on your condescending unlinkable column on the coming – “Who knows Where or When”, to coin a phrase – horror, the horror of nature run wild. GlobalCollingGlobalWarmingClimateChangeClimateDisruption, or if you want to save time use GCGWCCCD because those of us with the special decoder rings and aluminum antennae hanging out of our arses, will know what you mean. Jeezus Haitch Keerist but you give ohmadhans a bad name.

Mr. VerSteeg,

Just when I think I have shot all the goofy fish gamboling in the barrel built by and for modern American Liberals, a species that was conceived in guilt and prospers by communal stupidity, a new one comes along. As usual, Johnson was right. “It is the triumph of hope over experience.”

Welcome to the aquatic ten ring, you jackass.

As the newest card carrying, fire breathing modern American Liberal, one who was nurtured in the school of “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome” – if there is a translation problem send a SASE – you may want to put on your bullet proof vest, the one that prevents ideas from getting through.

Before you condemn ad hominem arguments you may wish to consider that your arguments are both ad absurdum and ad captandum. The slippery slope tu quoque applies, peckerhead.

You speak of Noah and Jacob. I suggest another Old Testament dude, Jeremiah, be put into the mix.

His Lamentations may have worked with sand loving nomads. He has found favor with bombastic, head up their arse, halfwitted quasi-climatologists who think a cloud is about computers and couldn’t tell a millibar from a biker barre.

Jeremiah was a good man who suffered from mental hemorrhoids – probably a “gift” from G-d – who made a living saying that the glass is not only not half full it is half empty and leaking.




You chastise Americans for “not saving enough for a rainy day”. I am one of them.

I took the word of “respected scientists”, particularly when they told me of a “consensus” of really smart guys who tell the untermenschen of the soon to arrive “end of days”.

The move away from Reason began in 1962 when Rachel Carson published a book that said it was OK for 2,000,000 sub-Saharan Black babies to die every year. Despite a paucity of evidence, observable facts that are independently replicable, her legacy got the US to outlaw DDT. Absent the wonder pesticide malaria returned with an Old Testament vengeance. Affluent White 1st Worlders feel good about maybe helping a few raptors. The 2,000,000 [that’s two million] slaughtered Black babies and, yes, I have seen a 2month old infant die of malaria, are acceptable collateral damage. One of the mantras of modern American Liberalism is “It’s for the children”. White children, mind you. Black children? Nothing to see here, folks. Just move on, OK?

In 1969 Professor Paul Ehrlich, a frequent guest on the Johnny Carson show, told us that we would all be dead by the year 2000. The only thing that was uncertain was whether we would starve to death or freeze to death.

It is June 1, 2014. It is warm, almost uncomfortable, and it has rained. There will be no need for cashmere. I haven’t made up my mind about dinner. The finalists are Chinese and Italian.

Allow me a moment of confession.

Beginning with the glorious reign of Jimmy Carter I acted locally to secure a quick end to our misery. Every morning I would squirt some Right Guard deodorant out my bathroom window, I figured the quicker we could dump the ozone layer the better of we would be. I thought I was helping when one of my favorite hypocrites, Senator Albert Gore, AKA Alpha Gump, told us in the early ‘90s that the ozone layer was hours away from disappearing. Maybe it was weeks. Perhaps years. Decades. Millennia? I forgot. Yes, Virginia, he is the same guy who gave us 5 years to live. Only a cad would point out that he gave us this Jeremiad 6 years ago. 5 years to live. 6 years ago. Got it?

In August, 1997 President Bill Clinton gave a press conference in the Rose Garden of the White House. We knew he had just left Hillary because he wasn’t smiling and his zipper was up and locked. He said that it was a very hot day and that the hot day was caused by Global Warming. To make matters worse hot days caused yet more Global Warming. Donna Shalala, Billy’s favorite munchkin Cabinet Secretary, offered an alternative route when she told us not to worry about because we would all be dead from AIDS in 10 years. An up to date thanatoptical Hobson’s Choice, no?


The really funny part is that they both meant it. Honest. You could look it up.

[Why the President did not submit the Kyoto accord to the Senate in 1995 for confirmation, giving it the force of law, is still a mystery.]

You write of “aging flood-control structures” and the need to replace them. I suggest that we use John Maynard Keynes as the paradigmatic template for solving this problem.

#1 – Cut taxes. Cut business taxes, Cut personal taxes. Cut them again.
#2 – Borrow money from the Chinese. Borrow from the Social Security system.
#3 – Spend it on “shovel ready” jobs for a perpetual “Summer of Recovery”.
#4 – We’ll be farting through silk by Election Day, right?
#5 – Repeat over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

Could you ask your “respected scientists” if any of them has seen Ptolemy? There never was a more “respected scientist”. He was an Astronomer whose thesis about the sun and the earth and their respective positions in re each other was “settled science” for 1,500 years. Some heretics – Copernicus, Kepler, Newton, Galileo – came along and “unsettled” it. Just like Judge Crater and Ambrose Bierce he is gone without a trace. See if any of them can help me find him, OK?

While they are on the trail see if they can find out about Fred Hoyle. He too was a “respected scientist”. His work on the universe was also “settled science” when Eisenhower was President. A few years after the subject was closed 2 Physicists, tinkering with some obsolete equipment in Holmdel, NJ propelled Freddy down the scientific memory hole with such a big bang that he left no forwarding address. See if they can find him.

How much more “respected” can a scientist be than to receive a Noble Prize? In 1949 Egas Noniz, MD won the Noble Prize for Medicine and Physiology. He was the leader in lobotomies. It’s a simple enough procedure. Drive a piece of metal into the skull of someone who would not fit Margaret Sanger’s guidelines. Irrigate the wound and close up. The “settled science” may have become unsettled but the patient wasn’t. Ask Rosemary Kennedy.

All of the above has been the sugar. Now comes the medicine.

As everyone knows the Trivium is one of the crown jewels of Western Civilization, the capstone of which is Logic. Say what you will about those DWEMs their urns still hold water.

Its best use is a defense against sloppy thinking. Think of it as a mental Leonidas, an intellectual Horatius, if you will.



25 centuries ago some of the lads in the agora noticed that some people, people whose job was to curry favor with the hoi-polloi, people who were your intellectual forebears, people infected with a murderous hubris, began to substitute feelings for ideas.

The disease is easily recognizable – I’ve given you a few examples – and treatable. OOPS! I almost said curable. Its name is simple

POST HOC ERGO PROPTER HOC

It’s like dawn to a vampire. It’s like a fart in church. It can’t be qualified or quantified. Follow the bouncing ball:

John has blue eyes and red hair and wears striped shirts.
John is a philandering perjurious paedophile.
Anybody who has red hair and blue eyes and wears
Striped shirts is a philandering perjuious paedophile.

I don’t have to tell you how easy it is to bypass thinking when it comes to making conclusions. You are making a living at it. As to saving money, why bother? Professor Paul Krugman, also a Nobel Prize winner and a former shill for Enron, told us 3 weeks ago that we are all doomed. Max out all your credit cards. Bounce checks. Play hide the salami until the wave hits. After all, as Hillary Clinton says, “In the long run what difference does it make”? Or as Keynes said, “In the long run we’re all dead”.



Kevin Smith – Proud Global Warmer



PS – Pop quiz for extra credit. Did Pompeii blow up because of excessive fires on the Palatine Hill? Did it snow in Boston in June, 1816 because they killed whales? Did excessive use of steam engines cause Krakatoa to blow its top? 1908, 1925, 1938, 1954, 1962. Did the increased use of electricity cause those years to have horrible hurricanes? Take your time, you boob.