January 5, 2015
Mitchell Berger, Esq
.Berger, Singer
350 E Las Olas Blvd
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: The ceasefire is over! – Some comments on your verbal incontinence in Sunday’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel OP-ED section

Mr. Berger,

What a putz!

I’ll put my last line first. I hope it doesn’t spoil it for you.

Apparently a 105% vegan diet – Barbecue chard? – and your continuing ideological tongue bath of Tom Steyer, a dirty coal mining, hedge fund conniving hypocrite of the decade has caused you to lose what little sense that was left in your addled brain.

You say, with nary a hint of sarcasm nor a tinge of sardony, that President B.H. Obama, noted serial vacationer, is to be commended for whatever happened in Afghanistan.

Imagine the following scenarios:

#1 – George Washington tells his troops “2 years tops. If the Red Coats aren’t beck in Blimey by then I’ll say we won and you can all go home’”

#2 – Abraham Lincoln, just after Bull Run, announces that hostilities with the South will cease in 18 months.

#3 – Just before Christmas, 1941 Fran kiln Roosevelt told Chester Nimitz to go to Pearl Harbor and not to come back until the Japanese Navy was at the bottom of the ocean and the United States navy s anchored in Tokyo Bay.

Suppose he told him that he wanted all the troops home by Labor Day, 1944? Who knows? Sushi Big Macs? Sashimi McMuffins? Height limits on basketball teams? Separation of Shinto & State? The losing coach in the Super Bowl cuts his stomach open?

I forget.

Did Obama draw a line in the sands of Kefiristan or was it the sand trap on the par 5 sixth hole at the Molokai Golf Club? Funny thing about “mulligans”. The real world, the world where “stones are hard and water is wet” specifically forbids them. Honest. Look it up.

I suggest you familiarize yourself with “the Great Game” and why Queen Victoria was not in the habit of making knighting losing generals and making them Field Marshalls? Google Lord Roberts – “Bobs” to Kipling, the first multicultural poet to win the Nobel Prize.

Re-read my first line.






Kevin Smith






PS – Two things

A – I am too old to hope but you as someone who grievously offended the Gods by believing than one man could “cool the earth and calm the seas” can still atone for this public display of hubris, of narcissism, of solipsism. All you have to do seek forgiveness is to announce at half-time of this year’s Super Bowl that your firm will no longer handle any real estate transactions – buy, sell, refinance, lease - where the property is on any water front or where any body of water is visible from any part of the property or any building on it. You know that the rising sea levels will soon make those properties into coral reef sanctuaries. You profiting from this would be as bad as saying, “If you like your doctor you can keep him”.

It is now the “consensus of scientists”, a “consensus” that is as least a strong as the one that kept Ptolemy as Top Gun in Astronomy for fifteen friggin’ centuries, that the keys to finding Atlantis and solving the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle, is to find Big Foot, Yeti, and Sasquatch. They know everything. Once they unclench their fists as we open our hands they will tell us everything. If we can round up the Headless Horseman, the Jersey Devil, Peter Cottontail, and Frosty the Snowman we can have the Discovery Channel on it.

Maybe we can have it on simultaneously with the Democratic Convention of 2016.
POP QUIZ

Who was it who said “we will pay any price, bear any burden…for the success of liberty”? He also mentioned the “long twilight struggle”.

A – The least evil of the Koch Brothers
B – Al Sharpton
C – Lard Kennedy’s older brother
D – Debbie Wasserman-Schultz