July 21, 2015

Mitchell Berger, Esq.

Berger, Singerman

350 E Las Olas Blvd

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: Maybe the world won’t end before Thanksgiving

Mr. Berger,

“Have you heard? It’s in the stars. Next July we collide with Mars.” With apologies to Cole Porter but his lyrics have awakened a different Muse.

Perhaps it is just a coincidence but when Tom Steyer, a classmate of your wife in what was, I think, an inner city school that was gang run and drug infested, stopped selling dirty coal to emerging nations who didn’t give a rat’s ass about CO2 or ozone layers but who just wanted to feed their people, good things began to happen in the Arctic.

I’ll try to be gentle.

The polar ice cap, the icebergs, the glaciers, and the precious polar bears, the only counterbalance to being overrun by those terminally cute baby seals, is in the early stages of a monstrous, Alaska-sized, comeback.

University College in London – the London in England, not the one in Kentucky – a 200 year old highly regarded research center, and one presumptively virgo intacta from the siren calls of the filthy lucre proffered by the vile Koch Brothers, used 5 years of data, empirical data, data subject to 3^rd party analysis and scrutiny, data subject to independent replication, data gathered for 5 years from the Cryosat-2 radar satellite launched by and run by the European Space Agency.

It may be an inconvenient truth and I quickly add that the schadenfreude is tumescent but 2 things have now been proved that weren’t before.

#1 – The ice isn’t melting and, further

 #2 – It’s growing.

If I were a cad I would say something like “How do you like those apples, peckerhead”? I’m not so I won’t.

The sound you hear is like the one made by the competing drums at a Texas/OU football game. It is the sound made when the collective sphincters of all apostles of Ned Lud, Lysenko, Rachel Carson, Paul Ehrlich, VP Alpha Gump and all the phony bastards who have/had a hubris that the ancient Greeks could not imagine, one that says that man can “cool the earth and calm the seas” like the world’s largest ideological “lock box”.

I hope I am the first to tell you.

Kevin Smith

PS – I still haven’t read of your firm announcing that because the waters are rising that you will no longer handle any side of any real estate transaction on property that can be affected by tidal action. [The only exception would be if you have a client who has a buyer from Quebec} I suppose you are waiting for the Harvest Moon/high tide confluence so you can announce it from a kayak in your office. I am happy to hear that you have banned all coal powered A/Cs form your offices. You have, haven’t you?

PPS – Here’s a prediction I will bet the ranch on. Martin O’Malley, a candidate for the Democratic nomination for President has outdone Henry the 2^nd for apologies. He apologized, profusely and prolifically, for saying “All lives matter”. The only conclusion we can make from this is that the murder of 5 servicemen in Chattanooga, with all the victims being White, doesn’t count as much as the deaths of 9 churchgoers in Charleston because the victims there were all Black. I say he will not be in the next edition of “Profiles in Courage”. Anybody want to bet that he will?