July 8, 2015

Gary Stein

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Fill me in, please

Big Stein,

“When I was sick and lay abed” a lot of things happened.

Since Professor Steven Goldstein has either been captured by Ethiopian pirates or did not share my good fortune in dealing with the ObamaCare Death Panels, the mantle of canary in the coal mine, card carrying, fire breathing face of modern American Liberalism has fallen on you. It is not known if an environmental impact statement was filed but that’s OK. MALs don’t have much use for the law.

Since you conflate correlation with causation – It sure as Hell beats thinking doesn’t it? – and since Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc is, along with 4^th and 5^th  trimester abortions and maybe Bernie Sanders is out where the regular buses don’t run but it will make Hillary come to like Castro and Chavez so it must be good I turn to you for some answers.

These questions are asked in the spirit of comity and good will. Honest.

#1 – What happened in Iraq? Didn’t the President tell us in 2012 that we were leaving it a “secure country on the road to democracy”?

` #2 – Is ISIS still the JV squad or have they made it to the varsity?

#3 - When will the Summer of Recovery get here? Before Winter? Ever?

#4 – A melanin challenged loon killed 9 Black people in Charleston. He likes the Confederate flag. Naturally the mush brained media said that the flag made him do it. [Correlation and causation, remember?] There were 83 separate shooting incidents in Chicago this weekend with14 deaths. I am going to go out on a limb here but there were no White victims nor were there White shooters. Did the Confederate flag cause this? If so, how?

#5 – An undocumented Mexican illegal alien, 5 times deported and 4 times returning, shot a non-Black woman to death in San Francisco. Any flag involvement there? Was he basking in Alamo pride? Doesn’t this prove that Trump was right and probably should be President?

#6 – If 2 Muslim twin brothers want to get married in a mosque will the Imam have to or go to jail?

#7 – If a Lubavitcher shul refuses to rent me space in their parking lot to sell my pulled pork sandwiches on Shabos – The lot should be empty, right? – can a Judge force them?

#8 – Emmis truth time – Wouldn’t you really, I mean really, really like to see Hillary Clinton and Chris Christie do a few turns of Swan Lake or, at least, a Fred and Ginger look-back? I would. The two of them have enough wasted waist suet to keep the fires in Haiti burning for a week.

#9 – How is that “calm the oceans, cool the earth” bullshit coming along? It’s more than 6 years, amigo.

I am looking forward to getting the official party line.

I am 2 weeks late but won’t you join me in toasting the executions of the Rosenbergs? Don’t you think there should be a 24 hour armed guard – bayonets pointing in – at their graves lest those scroyles sneak out one dark and stormy night and do yet more harm to the Republic?

      

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET

#10 – Was Alger Hiss guilty or was he railroaded by Nixon?

#11 – Why were the Kennedy tax cuts good but the Bush tax cuts bad?

#12 – Speaking of tax cuts, how do you give a tax cut to someone with no income?

#13 – The Duke Lacrosse team really did it, didn’t they?

#14 – Walmart became evil after Hillary Clinton resigned from the Board, right?

#15 - The thought of Dukakis as President made the USSR tear down the Wall, right?

#16 - Eliminate bus and train fares to save the planet.

#17 – Was Greece the victim of predatory lenders?

#18 – Guilt free crème brulee.

#19 – Scoreless ties in all games, except women’s soccer. 

#20– Yes we can reach the horizon…Maybe at the end of Chelsea’s 2^nd term.

On the other hand…

“Of all the things that men endure how few

Laws or kings can cause or cure.”