September 12, 2015

Randy Schultz

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Free insurance – An idea whose time has come that is pointed out by you in this morning’s unlinkable Sun Sentinel

Mr. Schultz,

First things first.

I searched in vain for a Hurricane named Sandy in 2012. There was no such hurricane according to the National Weather Bureau. Look it up.

One of the advantages of being a modern American Liberal is that facts only matter if they fit the agreed upon narrative.

There was a big storm in October that, combined with an abnormally high tide and winds gusting to 58 MPH, led to literal littoral destruction, particularly in New Jersey. Sea Bright, the prototypical “down the jersey shore” town, and a place where I spent many summers as a lad, was particularly hard hit.

There is no more than 250 yards separating the Atlantic Ocean the confluence of the Navesink and the Shrewsbury Rivers. A decent golfer can tee up his Titleist on his river side dock and drive it 100 yards into the ocean. Usually such geography makes it almost impossible for permanent habitation. The citizens of Allen, TX and Wynona, MN have seen fit to subsidize the property insurance there making it palatable and mortgageable. Who needs King Canute when you have Uncle Sam?

I chastised Editorial Page Editor Rosemary O’Hara this morning for saying “special interests” and their pit bull lobbyists are securing favorable legislation by bribing the legislators. I said if she had even a hint of a “smoking gun” to tell any and all law enforcement agencies, both state and Federal. Further, writing about such chicanery would get a slew of Pulitzer Prizes for all involved.

Today’s tutorial on insurance is simple. Perhaps it is too simple for modern American Liberals who constantly and confusingly conflate co-relation and causation.

I’ll type slowly.

You wish to protect the value of your property should disaster befall it.  You give money to an entity that will pay you should such an event happen. You give some money to an entity that will pay you should such a disaster occur. They assume the risk. 

By assuming the risk they are betting you that it won’t happen. If they think it is going to happen they will not accept the risk.

Are you following me so far?

Am I going too fast for you?

If so, send a SASE.

Enter Federal flood insurance.

If the Feds did not guarantee the littoral structures no company, none whatsoever, would write the policy. As is oft-times said in Milan, “If no profit is possible the risk is obvious”.

If you want to lower insurance rates while undrowning the beleaguered polar bears and Florida’s useless sea slugs, the arugula, radicchio and endive eating manatees demand that waterfront property owners pay the full cost of their insurance.

President Obama said he would calm the seas, cool the world, save the furbish lousewort and the snail darter he would cause utility rates to rise so high that people could not use their A/Cs.

Don’t you love it when a plan comes together?

Madness. Lunacy.

As Wimpy, the noted climatologist and dear friend of Popeye always said, “I will gladly pay you on Thursday for a hamburger I eat on Monday”.

That way if you like your policy you can keep it.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET