November 17, 2015

Mayor John P. “Jack” Seiler

City Hall

100 North Andrews Avenue

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: A time to stand up and be counted. Could it be Ft. Lauderdale’s Rendezvous with Destiny?

Mr. Mayor, 

With the possible exceptions of Zabar’s at noon on Sunday, brunch at one of Barbra Streisand’s various castles, or the coven gathering at the local farrier to see Debbie Wasserman-Schultz get her hair and her tongue sharpened I can think of no more a modern American Liberal place than Ft. Lauderdale,

For years I have been saying that – Allah Inshala – we will have 4^th and 5^th trimester abortions, manatee suffrage, and the public flogging of teenage bullies. At night I hum myself to sleep to the tune of “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow”. Should you need a vocal fan if you decide to build a statue honoring the lives and deaths of the Rosenbergs you can count on me. Also, after all those years, I have come to the conclusion that if you can get over the Vietnam War and the more successful War on Poverty Lyndon Johnson wasn’t half bad.

[Do you think that if Dr. Mengele were to run in a Democratic primary for anything he would get 100% of the vote because of his progressive views on abortion? I do. Since I am originally from Hudson County, NJ I can assure that 100% can become 108% or 112% or whatever is needed to get the desired result.] 

Alas, my plans for the environment have failed to gain traction.

At the very least, as a symbolic show of solidarity with the drowning polar bears, city hall, the schools, the hospitals, the nursing homes, and the buses should turn off all their A/Cs.

And, since we are all aware of the inexorability of rising sea levels, shouldn’t the city discourage any building, commercial or residential, on any waterfront development?

In the end, if we are to believe the consensus of scientists and when have they been wrong, we are all doomed.

Shouldn’t mortgages and car loans of more than 2 years be discouraged?

Also, why not make the phrase “Don’t Buy Any Green Bananas” the official motto of the city?

But that’s not why I write.

Who said than modern American Liberals are, as C.S. Lewis said, “men without chests”? Not I and, hopefully, not you.

I hope I am not the first to reach out to reach out and ask, nay, demand that you use all your political skill and cunning to make sure that Ft. Lauderdale gets the first 1000 Syrian refugees. That’s 1000 each week. Every week.

Let NIMBY be made anathema.

Doubtless there will be some naysayers, particularly from the 1%ers who already have too much. Some of the wealthy shop keepers on Las Olas Boulevard and in the Galleria will object. It won’t take long before the tourists come to welcome the strange ways of our new friends. Besides, we both know that they will be the most reliable of Democratic Party voters, right?

Maybe the city can adopt a program encouraging local families to provide housing for our new friends.

As a serendipitous bonus the Pope, the darling of modern American Liberals, will be pleased He will shower us with blessings.

Modern American Liberals constantly hector us, and may I add “rightfully so”, of our duty, our obligation, and our moral responsibility to those poor unfortunates who are perpetually “unlucky in life’s lottery”.

It’s easy to talk the talk. 

It’s time to walk the walk.

Show us the way.

Kevin Smith

PS – You may want to take a peek at the city’s web site. It says the next election will be held on March 15^th.