November 22, 2015

Michael Mayo

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Guess which headline is yours

Mr. Mayo,

“Cleric Tells Mosque in Pembroke Pines

to Declare Jihad on ISIS”

“Saudi Arabia Sentences Poet to

 Death for Atheism”

I can’t keep a secret.

The one about Jihad is yours.

If a devout Christian were to say something even remotely comparable to that the reptiles that make up the coven of modern American Liberal truth dispensers would be on him like stink on shit. The whole nine yards – the evil Koch Brothers, the NRA, Friends of Fracking, Walmart, people who know that Hiss and the Rosenbergs were as guilty as sin, climate change deniers, like I said, “the whole nine yards” – would be in the opening barrage. 

Sheikh Sahafayat Mohammed, and let the record show that he will never be mistaken for Brad Pitt but that he makes Yogi Berra look like the aforementioned Mr. Pitt, wants to defeat ISIS “spiritually, intellectually, and physically”. [Italics mine]

Would it be a line too far if I were to say that with a puss like that he would have to be dead to get laid?

Sign me up for the physical part.

My favorite assault weapon is the BAR, the Browning Automatic Rifle. It’s getting harder and harder to get ammo. Do you think the Sheikh could help me?

Would you ask the Sheikh if he could tell me my why some of his forebears were raping their way across Europe less than a century after their irenic religion was founded? Also, why did a rampaging Islamic terrorist army show up at the gates of Vienna in 1683? I have a feeling that that they were not there to hear Bach play “Sheep May Safely Graze” on the cello that his pal Stradivarius made for him. Do you think they were there to stamp out the pigs and monkeys that make up today’s Jews? [Speaking of Vienna, has anyone yet found a copy of the Austrian/English dictionary that Obama, and blessed be his name, told us exists?]

“Saudi Arabia Sentences Poet to Death for Atheism”

That’s the other headline.

Try to imagine q devout Christian saying something likes that. The reptiles that make up the modern American Liberal truth tellers would be on him like stink on shit. 

Jeepers but there is something genetically wrong with that sentence.

On the other hand….

If a snake handling, gun totin’, Bush Baptist preacher were to say that the modern American Liberal elites [and you know who you are] would trample each other like Pamploma to get to a microphone. They would be apoplectic with cries of what happens when “slippery slopes” and “chilling effects” were not heeded. They would, with their second breath, call for the repeal of Citizens’ United.

It’s easy for you to pick and choose which freedom is good and which freedom is bad. You can do so because your favorite color is plaid.

Meanwhile, do you know if we can use dogs in the hunt for the berserk thugs who want to end our civilization? I have some older truffle pigs that would enjoy a return to the lists?

Should we give them a running start?

I love the smell of gun powder in the morning as you do. That plus some St. Louis rib aroma and we’ll run the bastards to ground in record time. Maybe a bounty for each Muslim terrorist nose would speed things up.

Kevin Smith

WARRIORBARDIT@BELLSOUTH.NET