December 13, 2015

Mayor Jack Seiler

City Hall

100 North Andrews Avenue

Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33301

RE: In the name of Professor Irwin Corey, who the Hell writes your stuff?

Mr. Mayor,

This morning, in the unlinkable Sun Sentinel, your mug and by-line appear in the mini-op ed section. I cannot rule out the possibility that someone has either stolen your identity or is playing a practical joke on you. 

Among the more memorable lines attributed to you are the following:

“…install check valves to reduce tidal flooding…”

If “check valves” indeed do reduce “total flooding” could you tell me where the water goes? Even a hard core Broward County modern American Liberal wouldn’t, couldn’t, be so Homerically dumb as to pump it back into the ocean, right? If you pump it into the Intracoastal are you required to file an Environmental Impact statement? If so, have you? Are copies available or does the Hillary Clinton rule of producing communications apply?

“…and collaborating with regional partners to build community resilience”

God’s Holy Trousers but who writes such wing-nut clap trap balderdash?

Are we privy to a shotgun wedding between Alice in Wonderland and George Orwell? 

There is something lower case Fascistic about “build[ing] community resilience”. Against what or, better, against whom?

You should have written press releases for the moonbat gaggle of horses’ asses gathered in Paris who said the best way to stop CO2 emissions is to outlaw exhaling.

In keeping with the Season, “I’ll retire to Bedlam”

Kevin Smith

PS – Have you turned off the A/Cs at City Hall yet?