December 23, 2015

Chris Cuomo

CNBC-News

Turner TV

Atlanta, Georgia 30303

RE: The one immutable constant, the one fixed star, about modern American Liberal newsies is that they never let you down. Ever.

Mr. Cuomo,

Once you learn to fake sincerity the rest is easy. All that is needed is a patronizing condescending attitude that morphs at warp speed into a cloying smugness. That’s what makes it oh so ever easy to give you the highest annual award for which public figures are eligible.

You are hereby named

SMARMY BASTARD OF THE YEAR

EYE-TIE SUBSECTION

TV STRUMPET COVEN CHIEF

Alas, the cash purse that used to accompany this has been canceled. The money now goes to the perpetual patching - Talk about crumbling infrastructure! – of the fragile ozone layer. Also, some help is given to the deconstruction of transgendered, regendered, degendered, ungendered, and my personal favorite, antigendered, obese teens who have been the subject of bullying.

The time and place for the investiture has not been, forgive me, finalized. I am sure that as a modern American Liberal, one steeped, stewed, simmered, and saturated in “non-malodorous fecal matter syndrome”, and as such, one incapable of being either embarrassed or insulted you will be there.

A few small things before I go.

I asked your father when he was Governor and your brother as Governor the following question. Needless to say, which is my I must say it, neither deigned to answer it.

I did not know until this AM that you were an attorney. Thus the question takes on a new immediacy.

Some background.

Your father gave a commencement address at Notre Dame University with the topic being abortion.

The gist of it was that while he was opposed to abortion as a Roman Catholic he had no choice but to allow and countenance it as a private citizen holding public office.

I’ll spare you “The Man For All Seasons” dreck about private conscience and public duty. My lips are sealed in re Thoreau admonishing Emerson for not being in jail.

Gandhi eating the salt and the sainted Dalton Trumbo spending time in the pokey are also off limits. MLK, Jr. & the Brothers Berrigan also are verboten. Despite modern American Liberals having a most precious gift, “eclectic indignation”, this one gives them a little agida.

But back to the unanswered question.

I posed the same set of circumstances to your father and brother.

What if Dred Scott, the fugitive slave, had been captured in New York when either your father or brother was the Governor?

 

Damn Madison but the part about each state having to give full faith and credit to the public records of the other states makes it, again forgive me for the irony of the language, Black Letter law.

Would either of them have put his felonious Black ass on the midnight train to Georgia?

In the case of abortion your father and presumptively your brother have said that public duty far outweighs private conscience.

I assume that your father, your brother, and you are opposed to slavery. Would it be safe to assume that your public duty would outweigh your private conscience?

What would they have done if they had been served with a writ of extradition for the return of prisoner Scott?

Would they have sent him back? If not, why not?

Get back to me, por favor.

One almost last thing.

I watched you hectoring a Republican last week about the coarsening of our political culture, about the lack of decorum, the absence of civility, and the “toes on the line” hate speech from candidates who were not wild about Midnight Basketball, who have waited longer for the Summer of Revival than they did for Godot, who are fearful that the unmasking of the heretofore secret cabal of Swedish Lutheran terrorists will take the pressure off the public cabal of Muslim thugs, candidates who are scratching their heads wondering why, after 7 years, neither the cooling of the earth nor the receding of the oceans has taken place, candidates who believe in the Bill of Rights, all 10 of them, guys like that. You know who I mean, right?

Should CNN publish the cartoons depicting the Cruz children as monkeys? What would happen if the Obama girls had been portrayed as monkeys? Isn’t it time for Ted
Turner to show the Mohammed cartoons

It’s tough being a mush brained, meaner than cat shit modern American Liberal but you’re gaining on it.