November 26, 2017

Fred Grimm

The Sun Sentinel

RE: Darwin and, like Colombo, I have just one more question. Some comments on your Op-Ed piece in today’s Sun Sentinel on Darwin and why won’t those deplorables just go along with what their betters know is true. 

Mr. Grimm, 

I know about Linear B.

I know why Oedipus went to Colonnus.

I know the difference between Chiaroscuro, Caravaggio, and Carpaccio.

I know what Hamlet meant when he told Ophelia to “get thee to a nunnery”.

I can teach you about the 4 Source Theory of Pentateuch Composition.

I am an experienced Heimlicher.

I fracked my first oil well in January, 1974.

I was in a gun fight on June 3, 1993.

I’ve drunk ’61 Lafite, ’66 Margaux, ’66 Latour, and ’66 Petrus.

I’ve flown the Concorde and I am an alumnus of Outward Bound and Jeopardy.

I know that there are 58, 318 names on the wall in DC. At least that LBJ war ended.

I know that 2 Broward County modern American Liberal pols – Debbie Wasserman Schultz and Miriam Oliphant - sent policemen, men with badges and guns, to my house, because of something I wrote. “Slippery slope” or “Chilling effect”?

I know that my Redeemer liveth but I don’t know why, 159 years after he posited it, Darwin’s interesting theory, is, you know what I’m sayin’, still a theory.

In 159 years, we have harnessed electricity, cracked the atom, bitch slapped gravity and gone to the moon where we spent a few days picking up some interesting souvenirs and came back with some fab fotos. We also figured out DNA and its myriad genomes, perfected the Green Bay power sweep, survived disco, leisure suits, and Carter.Also,“MidnightBasketball”,“shovelready”jobs, disappearing and reappearing ozone layers, GlobalWarmingGlobalCoolingClimateChangeClimateDestruction, and are now enjoying the fruits of Obama’s post racial society. So why can’t somebody tie up all the loose ends and prove that man descended from the apes. Personally, I would prefer to be part of the bear line. Get back to me when the “consensus” settles on something, anything. Ya know, if you believe in nothing you’ll believe in anything.

Kevin Smith

PS – One of the obvious solutions to the problems caused by one man/one vote is to unelect those mountebanks and catamounts who don’t see things your way. It is also an
“inconvenient truth” but gerrymandering”, that evil institution funded by the Koch Brothers, is what enabled Florida to send felon Alcee Hastings to Congress, Carrie Meek to Congress where the only positive thing she did was to will her seat to her son Kendrick the Dull without dying, and Corrine Brown who, when she arrived in DC placed every hot stove and all the quarters on dead men’s eyes, in limitless peril.  You may wish to familiarize yourself with Federalist 10. Maybe “A Confederacy of Dunces” or some Seinfeld episodes.

You would think that after more than a century and a half of solidly empirical kicks in the ass, with dead people numbering in the hundreds of millions, that we could stipulate that Socialism, and call it what you will Bolshie Sanders and Lieawatha Warren, doesn’t work. Never has and, based on History, never will.